Friday, March 1, 2013

Of Husbands, Vixens, and Bicycles

Johnny and Kathy Griffin.
Photo tweeted by Kathy: 
"Forty five minutes and a triple axel away 
from an all-new LIVE #KATHY 
@BravoTV 11:30/10:30c!"

OMG. So much Johnnyness all in one day, climaxing (yes. That would be the correct term.) with his laugh-out-loud funny appearance alongside Margaret Cho and Carmen Electra on Kathy Griffin last night.

First, if you haven't had a chance to read these yet, please check out his three (yes, THREE) new blog posts from yesterday:

For the Falls Church News-Press: "Johnny’s World: Call Me Maybe," on why texting ≠ calling.

For USOC Team USA: "Team USA Looks Great," an analysis of the strength of the US figure skating team.

For ESPN: "Why I'm Not Competing This Year," a fascinating and honest must-read about his shortened 2013 season and his plans for 2014.

And then: savor every moment of Kathy's show. Because he was amazeballs.

The full episode! Johnny enters with Carmen 
and Margaret at about 10:00.
Video link.
UPDATE: Shorter version also on YouTube!
NOTE: SPOILERS in the captions below!

Johnny greets Kathy on the set. 
Per his tweet, he's wearing "Givenchy up top,
Garreth Pugh leather leggings and Lanvin wedges." 
And thus he looks 10 feet tall.

Margaret confides to Kathy that 
"whenever there's a new gay man, 
I always try to get him before you do."

A discussion of Johnny, Victor, and Victor's 
youthful obsession with the gorgeous Carmen Electra 
quickly ensues. Kathy explains that for years while 
Victor was still closeted, he had a poster of Carmen above his bed. 
In relaying the story to Kathy earlier in the week, 
Johnny had texted her that "the bitch has been over him 
more than I have," which cracks everyone up.

Johnny asks everyone to say hi to Victor.

Johnny explains that during those years....
(LOL at the captions quietly posted by the show)

...Victor's "cover girlfriend was Miss Carmen, 
and she laid on top of him every night 
while he was nuzzling off to sleep."

"Do you mind if we re-enact that?" Kathy asks.

Kathy tells Johnny to lie on his back...

...but she meant on the floor, not the couch, 
for a better camera angle.

Kathy cautions Johnny not to knee Carmen 
in... an awkward place. "Why?" he asks.
"Because this is not the Olympics, Johnny."

"Now you'll be playing your husband...

 ...and Carmen, you'll be playing your own poster."

"I'm sleeping Victor, and you're a vixen," 
Johnny explains helpfully.

"Oh!" says suddenly awake "Victor."

"Wow, this is amazing," Margaret observes.

"Incredible," Kathy agrees.

Kathy: "Why do I think that picture 
is going to be in US Weekly...?"

Next, they discuss Margaret's open relationship, 
and Johnny declares, "I'm an old-fashioned kind of girl. 
I like somebody to be wed to me always and forever, 
and only get... THIS [gesturing to himself.]
"He's serving you Downton Abbey right now," Margaret notes. 
"I'm the Dowager," says Johnny.

A Johnny-motorboating-Kathy moment, 
after which he declares, "I am now MORE gay."

Next up: Kathy's "Explain Yourself!" segment, 
in which she reveals photos of her guests 
and demands an explanation.

Johnny is helpless with laughter...

...upon seeing the photo of him that Kathy has found.

"What IS that?"

"Am I smoking a cigarette?...
That's not me. That didn't happen."

"I don't have a bicycle! I drive a Lexus!"

Applause for Margaret and Kathy's scene 
in which they portray their mothers discussing 
Dennis Rodman's trip to North Korea.

Kathy asks Johnny about the feud that developed 
between him and Bethenny Frankel when he was 
judge on 2010's Skating With the Stars 
(this part of Kathy's show is already on HuffPo today).

Johnny explains that in-between filming SWTS episodes, 
he went to Australia, and someone sent him a link 
to an article in which Bethenny claimed that Johnny 
"was jealous of her... womanness. And that offended me 
as, you know, just an 'almost-woman.' 
Because if I wanted to be any woman in the world, 
it would NOT be Bethenny Frankel."

"And she wasn't listening to our remarks on the skating. 
I'm the professional skater. If anyone can dish it, 
I'm allowed to. I'm... The Ice Skater."

Later, in a conversation about pressures to be thin, 
Carmen is thrilled that Johnny is pleased with 
her ability to correctly pronounce "grand jeté."

During a discussion of The Maury Show
with which Kathy is currently obsessed,
Johnny demonstrates his...

..."Baby Daddy walk."

Johnny photobombs Carmen for support 
when she's asked to do her "Slut Walk."

Johnny and Margaret demonstrate proper steps 
to prepare for a fight on Maury, including 
removing one's shoes and earrings.

"You betta hold mah baby!"

"Have any of you been in a fistfight lately?" Kathy asks.
"Only for entertainment, and for 
good purposes," Johnny says. "Hi, Victor."
"I think you're referring to the kind 
of fistfight that's naked in bed..."

In the final segment of the show, 
three audience members compete in an 
off-ice "Ice Dancing With the Stars" contest. 
To begin, Kathy asks Johnny: "Can you please 
give me 10 or 15 seconds of some sort of 
fabulous scary dancing, or an axel?"

Why yes. Yes, he can.

Including the axel.

As the first contestant begins, Johnny works at 
getting his shoes back on while noting, 
"I can see your panties."

The third contestant is clearly the winner....

...prompting Kathy to announce, 
"That doesn't seem like it was fair at all."

Johnny awards the medals "that have no value"... Kathy bids her audience goodbye.
Absolutely loved every minute.

Bonus pics!! Photo tweeted by Johnny before the show: 
"It's happening. @margaretcho @kathygriffin 
carmenelectra so excited! @ CBS Television City Studios"

Photo tweeted by Johnny: 
"Post show realness (weave) with 
@kathygriffin. @ The Grove"

Photo tweeted by Tiffany Rinehart, Kathy's assistant: 
"Love me some @JohnnyGWeir #KATHY"

Photo tweeted by Paris: 
Kathy Griffin, Johnny, Suze Orman, and Paris.

Fan art!! Tweeted by @ayukovon 
immediately after the show....

...followed by Johnny Baby Daddy: 
"@JohnnyGWeir Delightful show, 
you were so cool and cute!! Thank you!!"

Very special thanks 
to Jenn Kittler for the video 
and her help with screencaps!

Patti has posted a new message 
on Johnny's Comeback Gift Fund website, 
with her thoughts on 2013 Nationals 
and what lies ahead for next season. 
Please go read it now!

ICYMI: "Something Beautiful." 
Exclusive new photos © David Ingogly.

A number of Johnny's auction items have been relisted
which means if you missed out the first time around, 
you're in luck: It's not too late to own a piece of Weir Gear! 
Go check it out and see what treasures you could take home!

NEW in the Team Weir-Voronov fan store:
Johnny buttons!! 
Click this link to buy yours now!
Japanese fans: Please use this link.

Johnny keychains!! 
Click this link to add some sparkle to your keys!
Japanese fans: Please use this link.

"A Mighty Dream" calendars for 2013, 
in both 12-month and 18-month designs! 
Order yours today! All proceeds from the fan store 
are donated to Johnny's Comeback Gift Fund
administered by the lovely Patti Weir.

Please alert absolutely everyone you've ever met 
to "like" and follow the new 
on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr
Because he should be on all the things. 
With or without ice. 
But definitely with Viacheslav.

Yep, I'm still promoting this silly poll
in which you can vote at least once a day. 
Please vote for Johnny!!

Need to see Season 2 all over again? 
Watch episodes online anytime on Logo!
Please be sure to check in with GetGlue
anytime you're watching the show... 
or thinking about watching the show.... 
or wishing you were watching the show....

Landing quads and kicking ass!
Read his comeback statement 
and the update on his website!

Yes, YOU can be a part of Johnny's comeback!  
Please visit Johnny's Comeback Gift Fund today 
and chip in as little as $1 via PayPal. 
Our small gifts can help make his dream of competing 
in his third Olympic Games come true!
And now you can leave a message 
of support for Johnny, too!

Please click to vote for Johnny 
once a day as "Best Sportsman"
Because he retweeted Luisa Lotka to tell us 
he wants us to! (Note: With his "58.132" rating, 
he is currently in 1st place in both 
Figure Skating AND across all sports!)

Q and A! Go read it now!

Yes! Johnny's dresses are now available
for purchase only on!

At last: Pop Star On Ice is now available on DVD!
Order yours today from the Pop Star On Ice website!

Johnny tweeted:
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"

You know what to do.
Please buy the song from Johnny's website,
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!

Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!

copyright 2013 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved

1 comment:

aaaack said...

A sparkling round table. Such fun, Kathy, Carmen, Margaret and Johnny. The View with more glitter and an edge, and a pair of wedges.