Monday, January 28, 2013

Captain Glitter Meets His Kryptonite

Johnny in his final appearance 
on Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off
listening to tips from Guy Fieri on how to handle 
the challenge of kids' birthday-party food.

OK first, before we recap the travesty of judging that occurred this weekend but which was actually not US Figure Skating this time, let us offer huge congratulations to new US champion Max Aaron! And enjoy the mutual admiration society of Max and Johnny:

This is the comment to which Max was referring, 
offered by Johnny during his commentary on 2012 Nats: 
"A good quad Salchow and a good eyebrow. 
That's what it takes at the Senior Men's Nationals."

Congrats also to the rest of the podium: Ross Miner, Jeremy Abbott, and Josh Farris!

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Kayso Rachael vs. Guy is no longer my new favorite show.

Because my favorite part of my new favorite show is no longer part of my used-to-be favorite show which I forget the name of now because it is dead to me.

Also: I don't like hot dogs anymore either.

So we now return to our regularly scheduled Sunday night, in which we watch my always-favorite-show Shameless during that time slot instead of having to DVR it for later. Because Johnny got us hooked on it. And he's my favorite.

Warning: Spoilers below!

(As a reward for slogging through this recap, please enjoy an exclusive Max-Johnny moment at the end of today's post.)

Video!! Just the Johnny highlights—
just the way we like it.
Video link.
Full episode available on the
Rachael vs. Guy website or here!

"And then there were two..." Dean says during 
Team Guy's huddle at the beginning of the episode.

Rachael and Guy explain this week's challenge: 
preparing food and entertainment for 
two kids' birthday parties. Rachael's team has 
the advantage, so they choose to do the girl's party.

"I'm the only person without children at this point. 
I'm going to be under the gun to make it 
young and fabulous because... 
that's who I am in this competition."

Johnny, Dean, and Guy interview birthday boy Adam. 
"I'm kind of sitting there trying to have a 
professional Barbara Walters moment with this child, 
and Dean knows just how to get in there."

Bro fist-bumps all around!

Guy: "Here's how you talk to little boys: 
'What's up, my man? How you doing, buddy? 
Got some pizza for ya!'..."
Johnny [cracking up]: "I can't talk like that."

But he gives it a shot. 
[In flat, robotic voice]: "Dude. That is off the hook."

"So genuine."

(For some reason throughout this episode, 
Johnny keeps mentioning ruefully that 
he and kids aren't a good match. 
"I want kids to love me, " he confides at one point, 
"and in general, they don't. And it makes me nervous." 
I can't even imagine where he's gotten that impression. 
See heartwarming evidence to the contrary here and here
And also in today's bonus pics below. )

Hard at work to create something special 
in the two-hour time limit...

...Johnny slices chicken while Dean works on pizza.

"Hot pan behind! Hot pan!" Dean warns.
"Hot Daddy!" Johnny replies.

Disaster: Johnny has put some of the chicken fries 
into the deep fryer, but the oil isn't even close 
to hot enough. He has to throw away 
this batch and start over.

The food is done, and it's party time! 
Special guest Rico Rodriguez (Manny on 
Modern Family) arrives, and Johnny realizes:
"No matter how many fancy parties Rico may have 
been to in his life, he's still a little boy... I expect nothing less than 
a little boy's opinion about our food." 
(Side note: One kid tells Johnny that wearing 
two hats makes him "look like a devil.")

Rico fills out his comment card: 
He loved Johnny's cupcakes!

The moment of truth: Johnny and Dean 
are thrilled to hear that their efforts 
were deemed "best party ever!" 
Unfortunately, the chicken fries were not 
as well-received: Guy notes that one kid said, 
"I just had Johnny's chicken, and I think 
I'm going to throw up!"

"The devil kid! 
Why'd you guys talk to that kid?!"

The results stun everyone: 
The two teams are tied. 
This means the creators of the lowest-rated dish 
on each team will go head-to-head 
in the blind tasting.

Johnny congratulates Dean on his 
"Dragon Breath Bombs," voted best dish of Team Guy.

But then he learns that the now-infamous 
chicken fries are the team's worst dish, 
and he'll be facing Carnie Wilson in 
the blind tasting: hot dogs.

"You got this," Dean reassures him.

Johnny chooses to remove a sausage 
from its casing and cook it up 
in his own gourmet take on a 
hot-dog-style sandwich...

...but Dean keeps hoping he'll throw 
an actual hot dog in there.

Done. No hot dog. 
But topped with fried onions.

Now the nerve-wracking wait. 
Guy and Rachael have an extremely hard time 
making a decision on this one. 
Guy loves Johnny's creation: 
"The full-on ensemble of this? ROCKSTAR."

But in the end, the judges agree that Carnie 
has done a better job of creating a classic hot dog. 
(Although many viewers raised strong eyebrows 
over this decision. When Dean faced Chilli in the 
blind tasting, it was his more gourmet milkshake 
that won against her traditional classic. 
Why were the criteria different this time? 
And can we somehow blame the ISU and the CoP? 
Cuz that always makes me happy.)

Ever classy and gracious, Johnny immediately 
congratulates Carnie on her win.

"Dude, you did beyond good!" Guy assures him. 

Daddy Dean says he'll miss 
his "Johnny Sunshine." :(

Head held high, Johnny sashays away... only he can.

If you were inspired by Johnny's fabulous stint on Rachael vs. Guy, please consider making a donation to support the Human Rights Campaign, the charity for whom he was playing. He notes in his exit interview, "I myself am a symbol of what the HRC can do. I’m completely free to be myself."

And, most importantly, as he said on the show, it's HRC's tireless work for equality that helped allow him to "marry the man that I love."

The husbands are off to Aruba tomorrow!! 
Best wishes for a wonderful vacation!

Bonus pics!! Photo tweeted by Johnny's 
dear friend Meg Carlozzi: 
"When I invited @johnnygweir 
for 'ladies lunch' I don't think he knew 
what he was getting into..." 
They love him! Absolutely adorable.

Team Weir-Voronov represented at the 
US National Figure Skating Championships in Omaha! 
Wanda Gelsebach proudly sports her TW-V jacket, 
available exclusively at the fan store. Order yours today
All proceeds donated to Johnny's training fund.
Photo courtesy of Wanda.

And finally: Max and Johnny, December 2012. 
Love this so much. 
Exclusive photo © David Ingogly.

Very special thanks to 
Jenn Kittler for her invaluable help 
with screencaps!

Auction update: This gorgeous leather jacket
by Ralph Lauren, seen here on Johnny 
at the annual Figure Skating in Harlem
benefit in 2007, is available!

A number of Johnny's auction items have been relisted
which means if you missed out the first time around, 
you're in luck: It's not too late to own a piece of Weir Gear! 
Go check it out and see what treasures you could take home!

"A Mighty Dream" calendars for 2013, 
in both 12-month and 18-month designs! 
Order yours today! All proceeds donated to 
administered by the lovely Patti Weir.

Patti has posted a new message 
on Johnny's Comeback Gift Fund website, 
with her thoughts on 2012 
and what lies ahead. 
Please go read it now!

Johnny's a regular columnist now  
for the Falls Church News-Press!
His columns are published every Thursday 
in the "National Commentary
section—don't miss a single one! 

Please alert absolutely everyone you've ever met 
to "like" and follow the new 
on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr
Because he should be on all the things. 
With or without ice. 
But definitely with Viacheslav.

Yep, I'm still promoting this silly poll
in which you can vote at least once a day. 
Please vote for Johnny!!

Need to see Season 2 all over again? 
Watch episodes online anytime on Logo!
Please be sure to check in with GetGlue
anytime you're watching the show... 
or thinking about watching the show.... 
or wishing you were watching the show....

Landing quads and kicking ass!
Read his comeback statement 
and the update on his website!

Yes, YOU can be a part of Johnny's comeback!  
Please visit Johnny's Comeback Gift Fund today 
and chip in as little as $1 via PayPal. 
Our small gifts can help make his dream of competing 
in his third Olympic Games come true!
And now you can leave a message 
of support for Johnny, too!

Please click to vote for Johnny 
once a day as "Best Sportsman"
Because he retweeted Luisa Lotka to tell us 
he wants us to! (Note: With his "58.132" rating, 
he is currently in 1st place in both 
Figure Skating AND across all sports!)

Q and A! Go read it now!

Yes! Johnny's dresses are now available
for purchase only on!

At last: Pop Star On Ice is now available on DVD!
Order yours today from the Pop Star On Ice website!

Johnny tweeted:
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"

You know what to do.
Please buy the song from Johnny's website,
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!

Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!

copyright 2013 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


germansoulmate said...

That picture of Max and Johnny is so, so priceless. Love it to pieces. That made up for the dissappointment of Johnny being gone from celebrity cookoff.

Thanks to Jenn also for the screencaps and to you as always.

Bubblebabe3000 said...

I love Johnny to pieces!! Always an inspiration in everything he does! Best wishes, hope to see you on TV again soon :))

Carmina said...

....aaack!! one could have even imagined that THE HOT DOG was going to be the end of Johnny on that show...but, what he made, instead, was great, and if one wants to overanalyze and get all philosophical as I'm about to do, it all made sense...
...the hot dog has long been an American classic - simplistic in its presentation, readily found at your nearest grease joint, gas station, and supermarket, mass produced by the millions...delicious and satisfying, yes, but nothing unique about it (unless you are getting said hot dog from a not-so-average hot dog joint, that puts a twist on the classic).., the sausage sandwich, on the other hand, was different, unexpected, could not even be labeled a "hot dog" - it showed risk and creativity and stood out for its brilliance...IT DARED TO BE DIFFERENT!

....what I'm trying to say (40 million characters later) is Johnny is NOT a hot dog...and the infamous sausage sandwich is a reflection of his being... :)