Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Albino Peacock

With the advent of Champs Camp this week, 
it has suddenly dawned on me that he is, in fact, 
truly, actually, seriously, you know, 

OK. Champs Camp. What do we know? 

(Besides the fact that Johnny's favorite animal other than Тёма is the albino peacock. Appropos of nothing. Or maybe of everything.)

According to U.S. Figure Skating: "Champs Camp is a two-to-three-day conference for elite U.S. Figure Skating athletes and their primary or secondary coaches held annually in Colorado Springs, Colo."

Or, also according to U.S. Figure Skating: "Champs Camp is an annual three-to-four-day conference attended by U.S. Figure Skating athletes who are asigned [sic] to an ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating event and their primary or secondary coaches."

(Once again numbers appear to be slightly troublesome.)

Anyway. Here's some history:

"At it's inception, [and suddenly Leo DiCaprio is in my head, explaining that the past two-and-a-half years has only been a dream within a dream within a dream, all designed and implanted just to bring me to this point: the sudden gripping realization that that should be "its," not "it's"...] the purpose of the camp was to familiarize the attendees with U.S. Figure Skating's policies and procedures in order to enable them to create strategies for achieving their personal and performance goals leading into the Olympic Winter Games. [What.] However, in 2010, Champs Camp switched to a performance based camp to prepare the athletes for the upcoming season." [Leo whispers silkily in my subconscious: "You see it now, don't you...?" "Yes. Yes, of course. It should be 'performance-based.' With a hyphen."]

"Athletes perform their short program and free skate programs (ice dancing teams: short and free dances) in a simulated competition environment. [Inception meets The Hunger Games. Which is demurely wearing skates.] The camp also included [and perhaps still includes] technical feedback sessions, pre-participation physical exams, mental training sessions and nutrition seminars [at least one hour of which shall be devoted to a comprehensive discussion of skaters and their Chipotle obsession]. Primary [wait, only primary, NOT secondary....?] coaches of an athlete assigned to a 2012 Grand Prix Series event are required to attend."

Also: At Champs Camp 2008 they had to build cardboard boats.

All righty then. I feel like I just woke up from a nightmare in which I was supposed to attend some kind of slightly cheesy multi-session corporate seminar whose instructions regarding attendance requirements were both complicated and contradictory, though provided in a highly authoritarian manner, only to discover that someone has left the TV on and there's a fascinating nature program concerning the elusive albino peacock....

The male albino peacock prefers a more solitary existence 
and is generally uncomfortable in groups. 
Even with others of its kind, it is highly visible, 
striking in both appearance and attitude. 
(Champs Camp 2008)

In a more relaxed setting, the albino peacock may 
surround itself with females who admire 
its unique appearance and strong sense of self-display...
(Champs Camp 2008)

...as is clearly evident in this moment 
captured by the camera.
(Champs Camp 2008)

Though its extraordinary appearance, self-possession, 
and utter lack of concern about what anyone else thinks 
is often enough to keep enemies at bay, 
the albino peacock may at times be forced to defend itself. 
In general it finds this very difficult and tends to lose 
because it is not such an aggressive being for the most part. 
It keeps wanting to shield its face instead of going in for the kill. 
Its opponent may seize the opportunity to go diva on it and kill it.

When it comes to sharing food, the albino peacock may choose 
to enjoy the company of others at mealtimes. 
Although it still will mostly just push the food around 
on its plate--unless it's the off-season, during which 
it may consume copious quantities 
of chicken fingers, caviar, and pelmeni.
(Champs Camp 2009)

At other times, the albino peacock may engage 
in complicated rituals designed to subtly establish 
its dominance as the most stunningly fabulous 
creature for miles. This is usually quickly apparent 
to even the most casual observer.

Kayso not really sure we know any more than we did when we started, but not to worry:

Sweet Weirsus, I even retweeted them. I believe that's one of the Seven Signs of the Albinpeacopalypse.

For more on past Champs Camps which Johnny attended, please see this interview and the Ice Network galleries for June 2008 and June 2009. Though, out of 101 photos in said galleries, you'll find just 7 of Johnny (mostly the ones above), because, as my lovely friend @zhonnika explained, he seemed to be somewhat... photo-resistant. But of course that was before twitpics and Instagram...

(You might have more fun checking out the Pop Star on Ice gallery from the New York premiere, also June 2009.)

Bonus vid!! This, from Champs Camp 2008, is priceless. 
The sound doesn't track quite right with the visuals, but OMG. 
Absolutely not to be missed. :DDD
(And don't miss this, either.)

Bonus gif!! From the Jaguar video posted on Monday's blog
Because the albino peacock is awesome 
when he's strutting his stuff.
Which is pretty much always.
(If the gif won't play for you, please try refreshing the page, 
or click the gif to open it in a new window.)

And one more. Photo tweeted yesterday 
by Johnny: "I'm the Joker...."

Wishing you safe travels and
good luck, Johnny! Ganbatte!!

UPDATE!!! The return of Johnny to our TVs.
Set those DVRs now: New premiere date is
Monday, September 1710 pm EDT / 9 pm CDT 
only on Logo!

Previews!! Johnny with Australian Olympic 
diving champion Matty Mitcham...
International fans: 
Please try this link or this link for the video.

...and Johnny with the ever-fabulous RuPaul.
International fans: 
Please try this link or this link for the video.

Please be sure to read Johnny's fabulous
London 2012 blog entries on People.com! 
Here's a listing of his blog posts (newest first):
My First Impressions of the London Olympic Games
Fierce Competition (and Fashion!) at London Games

Yes, YOU can be a part of Johnny's comeback!  
Please visit Johnny's Comeback Gift Fund today 
and chip in as little as $1 via PayPal. 
Our small gifts can help make his dream of competing 
in his third Olympic Games come true!
And now you can leave a message 
of support for Johnny, too!

More from Johnny's website!! 
He's heading back to Japan in early September 
for Fantasy on Ice! Info here!

Landing quads and kicking ass 
at a Grand Prix event near you!
Read his comeback statement 
on his website!

Please click to vote for Johnny 
once a day as "Best Sportsman"
Because he retweeted Luisa Lotka to tell us 
he wants us to! (Note: With his "58.132" rating, 
he is currently in 1st place in both 
Figure Skating AND across all sports!)

It's not too late! Subscribe now 
and get the entire Johnny Weir perspective, 
including his never-before-heard free skate commentary 
available exclusively on icenetwork.com!

Q and A! Go read it now!

with MAC is pretty much sold out, 
but I'm leaving this video on here 
for a little while longer 
because I love it so much.

Yes! Johnny's dresses are now available
for purchase only on eDressMe.com!

At last: Pop Star On Ice is now available on DVD!
Order yours today from the Pop Star On Ice website!

Johnny tweeted:
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"

You know what to do.
Please buy the song from Johnny's website,
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!

Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!

copyright 2012 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


Peace said...

Kya really wanted to try to meet him at the airport, but we're both non-drivers and also reclusive introverts and probably would have frightened him if we threw flowers and ran away crying and hollering WE LOVE YOU JOHNNY.

Binky and the Misfit Mimes said...


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Champs Camp history lesson. :)

The vids were adorable!

aaaack said...

Champs Camp sounds as corny as Nebraska in August, when there's no drought.