Thursday, April 26, 2012

And So It Begins...

To dream anything that you want to dream.
That is the beauty of the human mind. 
To do anything that you want to do. 
That is the strength of the human will. 
To trust yourself to test your limits. 
That is the courage to succeed.
— Bernard Edmonds
Photo © David Ingogly

In our ongoing series of hard-hitting investigative journalism, Figure Skating: Is There Any Way to Help It Suck a Little Less Anytime Soon?, which actually wasn't a series yesterday but sort of became one in that I'm talking about it again today, we bring you exciting breaking news that does NOT suck (oh yay!):

Remember that ISP list we discussed a while back? In which we dissected this statement posted on the USFSA website: "The 2012-13 International Selection Pool skaters will be listed shortly," realizing, perhaps most significantly, that it had nothing to do with Internet Service Providers, the Illinois State Police, or the vastly intriguing International Specialty Products corporation?

Just after midnight CDT last night we learned two important things:

(1) USFSA defines "shortly" as a period lasting approximately three weeks, give or take a set of fingernails bitten to the quick.

(2) USFSA has released the list. And it looks like this (thanks to Jenn Kittler for the screencap, with bonus helpful--and pretty!--graphical elements):

OMG YAY!!!!!

And how much do we love that he's listed as "Johnny Weir-Voronov"? So, so much. (I know all the articles said, "The couple has taken the new surname Weir-Voronov, but professionally, Johnny will continue to be known as Johnny Weir," but now I'm wistfully wondering if maybe he'll just go with it. Because, as Jenn tweeted last night, "I'd love to hear them call his married name as he takes the ice." Yes yes yes.)

So! What does the fact that he's on the list mean?

After consultation with various Twitter friends, tarot cards, and tea leaves, we arrived at these tentative conclusions:

(1) It means he's on the list.

(2) It means he'll be classified as either Team A, B, C, or Reserve at some point--perhaps "shortly," so we can look forward to spending the rest of April and much of May (although, as @dapperderp noted, seriously, who needs May? Was anyone using it?) not knowing anything at all. Participants in last night's divination exercises agreed that we have no idea about the team thing because, as far as we can tell, there are rules, but if those don't yield the desired result, they make shit up.

(3) It means he may have to go to lulzy Champs Camp this summer. (Dear Victor: Please make sure he packs his purple socks again.)

And what's next?

Next I THINK we wait for the Grand Prix assignments to finally come out (and officially address those rumors once and for all. Oh wait...). The consensus seemed to be that, although Phil Hersh said May 19 (oh, so maybe we DO need May), traditionally these are announced after the annual ISU Congress, which this year will take place from June 11-15 in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Which at first glance sounded quite exotic for a group that seems to be composed largely of staid pearl-clutchers, but then I read these helpful tips for travelers to Malaysia and it all made sense:

Dress appropriately, don't insist on drinking alcohol in guesthouses that would prefer you don't, don't sunbath [sic] in the nude and don't, whatever you do, bring any pot with you from Thailand -- the penalties for drug use and/or possession in Malaysia are fierce.

(Got that, ISU officials? FFS keep your clothes on for once, and leave the weed in Thailand. Oh. Sorry for all the drug references.)

So! He's on the list! And that's a start. Because, as of course we all know, the answer to our series' headliner question begins with: Johnny Weir.

I mean, Johnny Weir-Voronov.

Now This. 
THIS Is Figure Skating. 
Uncle Dick Says So.

Johnny, Melissa Gregory, and Denis Petukhov 
perform "Fallen Angels."
Photo courtesy of Melissa and Denis.

Also in keeping with our theme, last night Johnny tweeted the link to the breathtakingly gorgeous and utterly unique "Fallen Angels" program that he performed with Melissa Gregory and Denis Petukhov in the April 2007 Marshall's Showcase.

He introduced the video by saying: "Me and @OlympianUncut [Melissa and Denis' Twitter name] doing OUR kind of skating. We were beautiful. Please enjoy this video."

To which Melissa gently replied, "Not were, ARE beautiful. xoxox."

This is a masterpiece--one of the most stunning performances in figure skating, and not just in my opinion. Johnny received a flood of Twitter love in response, which was simply an echo of how fans have felt about the program ever since it debuted. But what struck me most this time (because yes, I've watched it oh once or twice or 1,000 times before) are Dick Button's comments at the end of the program:

I found myself mesmerized by that program ... Talk about power and flow and edging and glide and speed. I mean, young skaters of the world, take note: It's not only about triple jumps. There was SKATING in this program.

"Tell it to the judges, too," the other announcer guy interjects.

And that was FIVE YEARS AGO.

For more on how Fallen Angels came to be
and how incredibly well-received the program was 
by audiences--despite figure skating establishment's initial horror 
at the very thought ("It was like dogs mating with cats, 
complete Armageddon")--see Johnny's discussion 
of it in Welcome to My World, pp. 178-183.

Bonus Victor!! From our Bravest Tweet of the Week Dept. 
I am totally in favor of this idea that Victor tweeted yesterday, 
and I am also completely in awe of his utter unwavering fierceness 
because God only knows the kinds of things people might ask.... 
I personally would just be thrilled to hear the story 
of how they fell in love, as relayed in 140 characters or less 
and infused with Victor's sense of humor.

UPDATE as of about 1 pm EDT today.
LOL. But those are good kinds of problems to have:
 "I have to reschedule because I'll be on my way 
to a fab vacation with my husband!"

The blog has a new home on Facebook
Please come "like" it and enjoy browsing 
through the posts and photos! 
Photo © David Ingogly.

New on Johnny's website!! Only about six weeks until 
he heads to China for Artistry on Ice: Red Temptation
Weibo, here we come!!

Why yes he is!! 
Landing quads and kicking ass!
Read his comeback statement 
on his website!

It's not too late! Subscribe now 
and get the entire Johnny Weir perspective, 
including his never-before-heard free skate commentary 
available exclusively on!

Q and A! Go read it now!

Johnny's Glitter and Ice collection 
with MAC is pretty much sold out, 
but I'm leaving this video on here 
for a little while longer 
because I love it so much. 

Yes! Johnny's dresses are now available
for purchase only on!

At last: Pop Star On Ice is now available on DVD!
Order yours today from the Pop Star On Ice website!

Johnny tweeted:
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"

You know what to do.
Please buy the song from Johnny's website,
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!

Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!

copyright 2012 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


aaaack said...

Love that Johnny is on the LIST!

Along with the purple socks, also remember to pack Johnny's sketch pads, the ones with removable individual pages that can be saved for future reference.

Yes, everything that Melissa and Denis did and do is beautiful.

jenn said...

I'd love to know anything about Victor he'd care to share with us. (Including the story of how they fell in love. And don't feel limited by the 140 characters, Victor. Feel free to use two tweets. Or more!) But I'll admit I feel a little cringy at the potential questions. Victor's a brave man. <3

Atomic Wife said...

OMG MM, that was totally going to be MY question to Victor as well! Word for word!! Great minds think alike. :-)

AND SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE about the ISU listing and Johnny using his married name!! CANNOT WAIT!! And, thankfully we have you as our unofficial skating commentator and official skating translator!!