Thursday, March 24, 2011

This Is What Happens When You Tweet Stuff and Then Leave Us Alone Together on Twitter

We interrupt our publication of tasteful and thought-provoking interviews translated from the Japanese and covered with delicate cherry blossoms to bring you this exciting trip into Geekdom because we are really really missing all the media coverage of Johnny during Fashion Week and we've already browsed through all the Russian photo galleries like 400 times and we're beyond desperate for him to post more videos to his Official Johnny Weir YouTube channel so we had to amuse ourselves by spawning endless ridiculous silliness from his weather-tweet yesterday:

What movie is this? Why of course it's:

A major motion picture event coming soon to a theater near you!


A long time ago in an ice rink far, far away....

It is a period of serious ennui.

Lackluster competitors, skating from bases around the galaxy, have won victories from the evil Federation Empire.

During the battles, well-dressed sparkly spies teetering in seven-and-a-half-inch Louboutins managed to steal secret plans of the Federation's ultimate weapon, the DEATHLY UNEXCITING STAR, an asexual performer with enough raw snooze factor to destroy the entire sport.

Pursued by the Federation's sinister agents, Princess Tara races home aboard her new pink Riedells, custodian of the stolen plans that can further enhance her really gorgeous hair while restoring elegance and scorching, gender-bending sexuality to the galaxy's ice rinks….

Unfortunately, Princess Tara is soon captured by the Federation's evil agents, who torture her by refusing to allow her visits from Eric, the Royal Beauty Ewok, or even to use a small amount of Poof. (Honestly, it's Eric who puts the "tress" in "Super Agentress." How is she supposed to cope or coif without him?)

But still the resourceful princess manages to smuggle out a message via a small orange brobot. Desperately she hopes it will reach its intended target somehow...

"Help us, Obi-Weir Johnobi.
You're our only hope."


Johnny Weir
Obi-Weir Johnobi / Johnny Skyskater / John Solo
(Yes, he gets to be all the heroes.)

Tara Modlin
Princess Tara

Stéphane Lambiel
Lambiel Calrissian

Galina Zmievskaya

Uncle Dick Button
Uncle Owen

Nameless USFS Judge
Darth Vader

Patrick Chan

Evan Lysacek
Various Droids / The Dapper Wookie Who Says the Sky Is Falling

Soundtrack by Richie Rich and the Villionaires, featuring the hit single "Know Me." Boom. (Seriously, if you haven't downloaded this from iTunes yet, you MUST. DO. IT. NOW.)

Also coming soon: The remake of ThunderSnow and Skatefoot! (Bonus points and a free pair of reading glasses if you are old enough to have any idea what pop culture reference I'm making here ... )

And don't miss the new Showtime series: Skateless! Follow the misadventures of a happily dysfunctional group of skaters during one competitive season. Booze, sex, drugs, fraud ... oh wait, those aren't the skaters ...

(BTW Johnny was right: Shameless is awesome. I added Showtime to our Children of the Corn Cable Company package just for that.)

Many thanks to all the tweeters who participated
in last night's Star Wars-themed
LOL-apalooza NerdFest 2011... :)
And very special thanks
to whoever made the Star Wars pic of Johnny.
("Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a Photoshopper!")

~ Our thoughts, our prayers, our hearts are with you ~
Please consider donating, if you are able,
to help the people of Japan.
Text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation
that will appear on your phone bill.
Or support Lady Gaga's donation efforts
by purchasing her special "We Pray for Japan" bracelet
for just $5. You may include an additional amount
with your bracelet purchase if you wish;
all proceeds go directly to Japan relief efforts.
For more ways to help, please see this article.

Yes, Ice Dreams is happening again
in Bensenville, IL, on April 30!
For every ticket sold, $1 will be donated to
the Japanese Red Cross
More info on the Ice Dreams website
and the Ice Dreams Facebook page!
Young skaters: Sign up here to audition!

Yes! At last: Pop Star On Ice is now available on DVD!
Order yours today from the Pop Star On Ice website!

Please help Johnny meet his goal
of raising $10,000 for breast cancer research
by visiting his donor page! Any amount
you can give will help Skate for Hope
in the fight against cancer.
You also can get tickets NOW to see Johnny
perform in Skate for Hope on
Saturday, June 18, in Columbus, OH!
(Same weekend as the Annually Awesome

Johnny tweeted recently:
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"
You know what to do.
Please buy the song from Johnny's website,
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!

Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!

copyright 2011 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


PumaJ said...

Love this:-)

germansoulmate said...


Peace said...

Aren't you a little short for a Skatetrooper?

I refuse to acknowledge my knowledge of old Clint Eastwood movies on the grounds it may make me feel more freakin' old. (Girl, I saw Star Wars in the theater the night it came out. GASP.) But I could use a new pair of reading glasses, with Swarovskis please.

Debora Walsh said...

"...the Federation's ultimate weapon, the DEATHLY UNEXCITING STAR, an asexual performer with enough raw snooze factor to destroy the entire sport."

And Johnny gets to be all the heroes.
Damn Right!
...a new classic Binkz!

mommaowie said...

Oh. Oh my. Tears streaming down my face. And in a good way! Sad I missed out on the twitterfest. Thank you, Binkz, and your mighty assistants, for putting a smile on my face again.

Zhenya said...


I love Shameless... I've watched the original, channel 4 version. God save the Queen, alright? lol

aaaack said...

Funny! It's too bad the Star Wars enterprise gradually turned from dramatic movie into a mechanical computer game over time. Same way that figure skating has been heading of late. And the Federation has managed to suppress all signs of rebellion via sparkling body-revealing onesies. Chilling. Boring.

Yes, Evan Lysacek plays chess, figuratively at least. My candidate for Jabba the Hutt might be Frank Carroll...there's something about his jowls and behind-the-scenes string pulling.

Nancy Knisley said...

Some more dialog from the movie (Please note that these are adapted from the original trilogy, because AFAIC, those *are* Star Wars. Also, I'm old, and I don't remember any dialog from the newer movies):

Darth: He is here.

USFS Official: Obi-Weir Johnobi? What makes you think so?

Darth: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in at the Vancouver Olympics.

USFS Official: Surely he must be dead by now.

Darth: Don't underestimate the Force.

USFS Offical: Unmanly skaters are extinct, their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are going to ensure that that's all that's left of them.


Obi-Weir Johnobi to Darth: You can’t win, Darth. Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

(That quote didn't even require tweaking. Fits perfectly.)


John Solo to Princess Tara: Lambiel isn't a spinning system, he's a spinning man!

akiko said...

Soooo funny!!
Now I'm convinced how huge fun I miss while I'm outside of Twitter (I tweet only when I vote for our Johnobi).

WheresMyKoppy said...

I've actually seen 'Thunderbolt and Lightfoot'. Saw it in the theater. Okay I'm old, so what? LOL!

Favorite 'Star Wars' character Han Solo! I love a sexy rogue!

Obi-Weir Johnobi, lol!

This was great, MM! I would never even have thought of something like this even though I LOVE the original three Star Wars movies!