Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Happy Blogoversary and Other Exciting Stuff!!

(Psssst: Hey. Just a heads-up. Whatever else you do today, DO NOT MISS the Adrienne Landau video at the very end of this blog entry. Best five minutes you'll spend doing ANYTHING. Ever.)

The very first photo I ever ran of Johnny
back on February 28, 2010.

Wow. I almost can't believe it. Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of this blog!

Which I didn't even write about cuz I kinda dozed off watching the Oscars Sunday night and had this really weird dream ...

"Welcome to tonight's Oscars telecast, brought to you by USFS and ISU, your official source for the best in 'discriminating' sports entertainment since 2004! And here's your host, the one and only Johnny Weir!"

Johnny skates across the giant ice-cube of a stage to the beat of "Dirty Love" and lands a perfect triple axel-triple toe. He's wearing a reprise of his Villionaire outfit, which is to say just a loincloth and generous amounts of glitter. Dozens of men and women are immediately overcome and have to be carried from the theater on stretchers. Some can be heard moaning softly, "Let me just get myself ready ... "

The picture is abruptly lost. It is replaced with a static test pattern overlaid with the standard phrase, "OMGIDIE," for several minutes.

"And we're back! Not only is Johnny your host this evening, he's also been nominated in every category! (since he didn't get nominated for an Emmy)."

Johnny frowns momentarily, then flashes a dazzling smile.

"In an unprecedented development, Evan Lysacek and Patrick Chan also have been nominated in every category. Please enjoy this clip montage as we prepare to announce tonight's winners."

Clip 1: Titanic remake. Cut to Evan in ill-fitting captain's uniform, delivering a lecture on safety procedures in bronotone. The other passengers take turns pushing each other off the ship to escape. Cut to Johnny, who gracefully and fluidly rescues everyone and offers helpful fashion tips to the soaked but delighted passengers. One man is especially grateful after Johnny kindly explains that his socks are sending all the wrong messages. Cut to Patrick. He falls out of a lifeboat.

Clip 2: King Kong remake. Cut to Evan in ill-fitting scientist's lab coat, describing silverback gorilla mating rituals in bronotone to a high-society audience in an auditorium. People take turns lighting each other on fire to escape. Cut to Johnny, nimbly and elegantly scaling the Empire State Building to reach Kong and ever-so-gently suggest that perhaps a trim and some Clé de Peau High-Performance Cream could make all the difference in his relationship with Ann. Cut to Patrick. He falls off the Empire State Building.

Clip 3: Godfather remake (the first one, of course. Hello.). Cut to Evan in ill-fitting double-breasted pinstriped suit with odd snake-shaped kerchief in his pocket, explaining in bronotone to assorted Mafia capos that it's time to take it to the mattresses which he doesn't evan know what that means. The capos take turns shooting each other to escape. Cut to Johnny in his Kentucky Derby outfit. He's playing poker with the capos, but they've halted the game to admire his manicure. Paulie from the Sopranos makes a cameo appearance to discuss the merits of a satin finish. Cut to Patrick. He falls out of bed clutching a stuffed horse.

"OK! And the winner in all categories is ... Patrick Chan!"

Before Johnny can react, the entire Cabal bursts through the theater doors chanting, "Wow, this judging really sucks! Patrick Chan???? What the f---"

And then I woke up.

Yep, my very first entry was February 28, 2010. That's also when I first noted I'd be posting "content exclusively devoted to all things Johnny Weir until I am able to at least partially recover some semblance of interest in something else."

Thus far I have been unable to do that. (You may have noticed.)

I just adore this man.

From Nationals last year to the Olys to his withdrawal from Worlds to taking a year off to red carpets and petitions and Miss USA and #realityWEIR and tatty terry robes and glue guns and Cabals and HRC Visibility Awards and Out 100 and Skater of the Year and "Dirty Love" and Welcome to My World and Fashion Week; from Japan to China to Australia to Russia and back again; from heartbreak to sabbatical to multiple awards to whatever's next--I remain endlessly fascinated and fully immersed in enjoying the beauty, the sparkle, the fierceness, the fragility, the occasional bit of delicious snark, the people, and the love that he's brought into my world.

Did I mention he's fabulous?

And through it all, no matter what else was going on or what whiplash moments we fans careened through ("LOVE BGJW!" "Evan said stupid shit!" "Now Johnny called him a 'slore'!" "Yay for new vocabulary!" "Yay for a new episode of BGJW!" "OMG that HAT! I love it!" "This MAMMOTH thing shoved in me ... " "Season finale of BGJW!" "Wait, 'season' or 'series'?" "He's recording a song!" "I think they mean 'season'..." "He's writing a book!" "So will there be a Season 2?" "Evan tweeted stupid shit!" "Wow, that's so ... dapper." "Wait, he absolutely loves his WHAT?" "Peonies. I'm sure he said 'peonies'..." "Is he doing DWTS?" "No, it's SWTS!" "WTF Bethenny?" "I love the song!" "I love the book!" "Seriously they're not even gonna let him speak?" "OMG WHEN does the new season of BGJW start?" "Yay for IceNetwork livestreams!" "Is he going to compete again?" "IDK I'm just a cluster of nerves ... ") there's been one constant, one foundation, one rock that we could always count on through thick and thin:

The sheer unutterable short-sighted mean-spirited arrogantly misguided and self-defeating stupidity of figure-skating officialdom.

It's so nice to look back and see that wonderfully solid underpinning in everything we've been through, isn't it? Like a lovely cornerstone of granite. Which apparently is what their heads and hearts are made of. Also their eyes.

And so as I embark on Year Two of the blog, I remain absolutely riveted to see what Johnny will do next.

So yesterday he tweeted this:

Skating practice? Video? AUDITION? Whaaa ... ? What does it all mean???

And an hour later, this:

(BTW we love that you YouTube. ♥)

Which brings us to this:

From fan Tatiana Edrenkina on Twitter: "Just in case U didn't recognize music of Johnny Weir's new SP: it's Alfred Schnittke, A Fairytale of Wanderings: http://tinyurl.com/6xzefeh. The light of this gloomy (yet beautiful) story is that patience, hope and love can reanimate even the most ruthless souls." Seems like a very classic and beautiful Johnny choice. And fan Gary Podschun points out that "Maria Butyrskaya skated to the song in 2002 Olympics," when she was 29--the same age Johnny will be when the Winter Olys take place in Sochi, Russia, in 2014. (Maria finished sixth in 2002, but we have higher hopes for Johnny ...
BRB having more dreams ...)

So here's the thing:

IF Johnny returns to competing next season, there are going to be more people following his competitive career than ever before. A LOT more people. By which I mean THOUSANDS. He has the largest fan base of any figure skater. Ever. In. The. World. He just gained FIVE THOUSAND Twitter followers in February ALONE. He now stands at 85,212 on Twitter and 52,684 on Facebook. And those numbers will be outdated by the time you reach the end of this sentence.

(Flashback: One year ago, on 03/02/2010, he had 41,172 Twitter followers and 28,496 Facebook fans. Evan has fewer on Facebook NOW than Johnny had on Twitter THEN. Just sayin'.)

That's a lot of people suddenly paying close attention to figure skating in all its arcane, stiff, out-of-step (or straight-out-of-Stepford) conservative glory and its incomprehensible points system and its sleazy politics resulting in whimsically random deductions for a "wrong edge" here and an "under-rotation" there.

It's going to be a lot harder to hide their bullshit.

I wonder if those FS officials are prepared for this level of scrutiny, under the very bright media spotlight that shines unsparingly on Johnny and everything around him wherever he goes, with hundreds of thousands of people watching every powerful jump, every gorgeous spin, every graceful gesture flowing right down to his fingertips, and every score--and for the massive outcry that will follow if blatantly biased judging once again rears its ugly head.

Nope. They are so not ready for Johnny 2.0.


I almost feel sorry for them.


Thank you, Johnny, for one of the most amazing
and unforgettable years of my life!
Me and 137,896 of my closest friends
can't wait to cheer for you
in whatever you choose to do!

Special thanks to someone other than me
who coined "bronotone"!

P.S. In the meantime while we're waiting to see what Johnny's doing, HERE IS A VIDEO THAT IS NOT TO BE MISSED:

OK, I know it's a few months away,
but you can get tickets NOW to see Johnny
in Skate for Hope on Saturday, June 18, in Columbus, OH!
(Same weekend as the Annually Awesome

Hey, Johnny's performing in St. Petersburg, Russia,
on March 8 in a special ice show
that is a tribute to the legendary skater and coach
Alexei Mishin!
More info on Johnny's Events page!

Johnny tweeted recently:
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"
You know what to do.
Please buy the song from Johnny's website,
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!

Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!

Yes! You can own a fine art print of Johnny
perfect for any/every room in the house!
Prints of artist Peter Jurik's "Showtime!"
are available for purchase from his website.
More info here!

copyright 2011 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


germansoulmate said...

Happy Blogoversary from here also. May Johnny give you material and topics for many years to blog about. Thanks for making me smile.

aaaack said...

The analogy of "Stepford" judges is so absolutely perfect...you nailed it! ROTFLOL!

Here's hoping you never give up your fixation. Here's envisioning you telling your great grandchildren about Johnny, who's by then writing notes for his fourth quartile biography, and us still reading your blog with quad-focals (with the Apple tablet transmitting the words and pictures directly into our brains via implanted chip interface).

Vicky said...

So often your blog cheers me right up, but especially today when I had a meeting about being made redundant. This has made me smile when I didn't think anything could. I particularly enjoyed Patrick Chan's cameo appearance, and of course the two wonderful videos.

kwongtheresa said...


You said it all: he is fun Fun FUN! That's another F word to describe him. And thanks again for all that you give to us in your wonderful blog.


Anonymous said...

Congrats Binky- did you think a year ago you would become his semi-official blogger, and get linked to often on his own web page?? You SO deserve it, and I'm happy for you and happy for us fans because through you he hears our voice. Thank you and keep up the GREAT work!


Anonymous said...

Happy Anny!! I've always loved your blog descriptor. I won't hold my breath if you don't!

I can't believe HOW MUCH STUFF Johnny has managed to cram into a year. Following him is like being a fan to ten normal people. :)

Maggie St. said...

Happy Blogaversary Binky!!!

Thank you & thank Johnny for a wonderfully fanTAStic year! ♥

Annie said...

Happy Blogoversary, Lynn! Your writings are a gift to all fans of Johnny Weir... and a wonderful homage to him.

You are a constant champion of Johnny's truth - the talented, loving, kind, generous man that he is. And you are are a fierce protector of this truth, being the first and loudest to yell "foul" when he is being wronged by word or action. It's not always been easy for you, we know, but you never complain. You are brilliant, and fun and sweet to all of us, your virtual followers. You truly are an "Army of One" with your blog.

And we all love you for it, including Johnny and Tara (recalling this FABULOUS tweet: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnyGWeir/status/15963227338833920).

Thank you for all you do for Johnny, for Tara, and especially for us, Johnny's fans. You make it a joy to love Johnny along with you because you share your passion with us and we know more and have more because of it.

We love you, Dear One.

Roll in all the love you get today. That's what it's all about!


Nancy Knisley said...

Happy Blogoversary, Binky!! Wishing you many more years of failure-to-even-partially-recover-some-semblance-of-interest-in-blogging-about-a- subject-other-than-Johnny.

Anonymous said...


I am very glad to have met you and your wonderful blog. A year ago I didnt know alot of the Johnny fans that I have met now. You and your blog were one of the first things that I found on twitter when looking for info about Johnny and his shows that I was desperately trying to get to.

I have enjoyed a year of the humor, the information and the love for Johnny that I share with you. Thank you for you blog and for your friendship! XO

Happy Blog-iversary!♥♥♥


PumaJ said...

Happy Blogoversary, dearest Binx! :-) I appreciate you and your blog more than I can say, really.

Thank you ❤

WheresMyKoppy said...

Happy Blogoversary! Yay! One whole year! Yay! I'm not quite there yet! Here is the opening from my first Blog here at Blogspot on May 24, 2010 (I had created the blog a few days previous but this was my first actual blog):

"I created my blog here at BlogSpot a few days ago partly because I so enjoy reading Misfit Mimes blogs; and also because I am almost daily seeing or thinking of something related to Johnny Weir that is worthy of being talked about. I did write at least three JW related blogs through my Live Spaces account; however, I am nowhere near as funny as Binky/MM is."

And I'm STILL not near as funny as Binky is!

Wonderful Blog MM! I still love reading them, and I love how we so often get such wit, wisdom and amusement along with a dose of reality and sensibility from your Blog on an almost daily basis. I found the Adrienne Landau video on TWitter and added it to my JW/AL NYFW blog before I read this blog but hadn't actually watched it yet til I read your blog. Got to love it!

Here's to a lot more years and a lot more blogs!

aaaack said...

Just had a vision of Star Wars with the Judges as the Grand Mof Tarkin and his stormtroopers, USFSA as the Emperor and Council, Johnny as both Luke Skywalker and Queen Amidala (also designs some more costumes), Evgeni Plushenko as Han Solo, Kim Yuna as Princess Leia (turns out she is a sister), Priscilla/Galina as Yoda, Evan as both Chewbacca and Young Anakin/Darth Vader, Dick Button as the older Obi Won Kenobi, Jeremy Abbott as the young Obi Won Kenobi, Scott Hamilton as C3PO, and Patrick Chan as an Ewok/R2D2.