Saturday, January 29, 2011

Once More, With Feeling

We interrupt our extremely bad mood in which upcoming events this weekend are busily eating away at our soul in order to bring you this brief exciting announcement:

As noted yesterday, IceNetwork WILL be broadcasting Johnny's acceptance of the 2010 Readers' Choice Award for Skater of the Year (Michelle Kwan Trophy) LIVE tomorrow, Sunday, January 30, at 3:30 pm EST!:

Even better: You DON'T have to be a paid subscriber of IceNetwork in order to watch! They'll be livestreaming it free on their website!

They finally clarified that on Twitter yesterday with just a bit of a tone to their tweets ...

("We've tweeted it numerous times..." Yes, but you never said it was FREE. And nobody thought to ask until you tweeted that Evan's press conference would be livestreamed free) 

... because they are a wholly owned subsisidiary of USFS ...

(which in turn appears to now proudly be a wholly owned subsidiary of Smucker's; aw, it's one big happy family over there)

 ... so that's just part of the whole required employee demeanor, but whatever: We get to see Johnny!! So yay! Thank you, IceNetwork!

I have no idea how this works, but other fans suggested that you head on over to IceNetwork's website RIGHT NOW and register with them (it's free). That way if you do, in fact, need to be a registered user in order to see the free livestream, you'll be all prepared and won't be fumbling around on Sunday mis-typing your email address and a password that you'll never remember ("hmmmm ... how about 'USFSBS' ... oh, that's already taken ... ?") while this thing is starting, and thus missing the whole five-minute ceremony which, with any luck at all, will not be completely drowned out by the roar of the Zamboni.

And OK, look, I wasn't even going to bring it up, but now that I'm blogging anyway, WTH: Can I just say that I find it appalling that the focus of Sunday's events is now really nothing more than one giant, extended commercial for Smucker's Stars on Ice, RISE, and Evan? And what a disservice this does to the men actually medaling at Nationals this weekend? Because now their exhibition performances are being completely, deliberately, blithely overshadowed by all the fussing and fawning of USFS over Evan. (Yes, I know. OGM. But that's just so last year. How's his competitive season been this year? Oh ...)

And for everyone who doubted that non-competitor Evan was, in fact, invited to skate TWICE on Sunday--yes, indeedy, both DURING the Smucker's Craptacular itself, an invitation which is unprecedented in USFS history, according to sources, and then again AFTER the Craptacular to film a scene for RISE--here it is, straight from the mouth of USFS Executive Director David Raith himself:

At the end of every championship, we have an exhibition called the "Smucker's Skating Spectacular." It consists of the champions of novices--our little ones; our junior competitors; and the top four senior competitors. ...  This year we have a very special guest: The 2010 Olympic champion, Evan Lysacek, will be here in Greensboro performing for the audience. ...  The special part will be that he will perform for the audience within the exhibition, but then when the exhibition is over, we're going to transform this arena into a kind of stage that we are going to tape--and we're asking the crowd to stay--tape two very special skating performances, which Evan will be in.

Lolwut. He's actually skating THREE times?

And even Raith says giddily in the interview: "It's never happened before!"

(Although it's a little unclear, as he and the reporter trip over each other's words, babbling and gurgling with joy, whether he's talking about Evan, the movie thing, the ability of Smucker's--that bastion of Christian values and leadership--to grasp that the Golden Rule does NOT mean that he who has the gold makes the rules, or USFS actually developing a conscience.)



With those words ringing in our ears, I feel the only proper response is to offer again the richly satisfying graphic first seen here back in July 2010, when USFS grudgingly announced that yes, dammit, Johnny had won the Readers' Choice Award, but they sure as hell weren't going to talk about the fact that he is the only skater other than Michelle Kwan herself to ever win the award more than once in its 21-year history.

Please note that this is an updated graphic in which the abbreviation "USFSA" has carefuly been corrected, in accordance with USFS's style rules. Because God knows I wouldn't want to offend them by violating their own rules, and then compound the problem by deliberately turning a deaf ear to their pleas for fairness and polite requests to please reconsider ... oh wait ...

(Here's hoping this is exactly what he's wearing on Sunday when he picks up the trophy for the second time in his career.)

BTW he tweeted this last night:

To which my first thought was, "He should design a whole line of gorgeous briefs for men and call it 'UnderWeir' ..." followed by an extended fugue state, and then, upon my return to reality, this: Yes, it's so not the same without you, Johnny. We're not loving it either--but we always love you, Captain Underpants. ♥

I don't know if the award ceremony footage
will be included in NBC's live broadcast,
but just in case, they'll be covering the men's
competition starting at 4 pm EST on Sunday.

Johnny tweeted recently:
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"
You know what to do.
Please buy the song from Johnny's website,
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!

Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!

Designer T. Rains and Johnny have teamed up to raise money and awareness for The Trevor Project! This organization is "determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources." Proceeds from the "Army of One" t-shirt sales will go to The Trevor Project foundation. Order yours today! Your support is greatly appreciated!
For more information, please visit

Yes! You can own a fine art print of Johnny
perfect for any/every room in the house!
Prints of artist Peter Jurik's "Showtime!"
are available for purchase from his website.
More info here!

Please remember to
register to receive
the JW Art Project's email newsletter!
They have great tidbits to offer,
and you get a special sneak peek at an exclusive photo
from the Artbook when you sign up!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


Vicky said...

Oh my god, 'UnderWeir', yes so much! Just brilliant!

Besides the dreadful treatment of Johnny, I think it's really awful the way this year's champions are all being pushed aside to promote Evan. What a way to show people you value them!

aaaack said...

Sigh. This reminds me of "The Empire Fights Back." I'll be playing and watching (cued to the 1:20 mark) on my computer when they broadcast Evan's performance. To put it delicately, I "like it better than Pirates of Penzance."

aaaack said...

USFS doesn't give up easily, do they? Resolved. We'll just have to vote Johnny for the most popular for this coming year, too.

julie98 said...

I feel sorry for the fans who will have to sit through Evan not once, not twice, but 3 effin' times. And he didn't even effin' win the fan award!! Thanks for all the heads up on watching the livestream!

WheresMyKoppy said...

UnderWeir underwear! LOL!

Unfortunately aaaack we can't vote Johnny the REader's Choice for the coming year because he won't be eligible due to not having competed. But unfortunately for the USFSA (and Smucker's) he's not going anywhere is he? :- D

Princess Johnny-Love ♥ said...

OMG, Binky! "but we always love you, Captain Underpants. ♥"

Ahahaha! *crying with laughter*

Yes, we'll always love Johnny, in or out of his underpants!

And, hey, just in case he's listening . . . please PLEASE design a line of underwear for men and make small sizes so us girls can buy them. Oh, wait! um . . . that will lead to me announcing to everyone that I meet: "I'm wearing Johnny Weir underwear!"

Anyway, where do we thank Ice Network for airing Johnny's acceptance?

And, Johnny, if you're gonna compete next year, you know we're gonna mount an all-out campaign to get you the Readers' Choice Award for the third time!

Eat that, jelly bitches!!



Anonymous said...

"Captain Underpants" - Love It!!!