Thursday, January 20, 2011

Fight, Don't Stop, Get Your War Paint On!

Johnny enjoys chatting with a fan
during his Chicago book signing, January 18, 2011.
Photo courtesy of David Ingogly.

Kayso the Chicago book signing was fab and he was beautiful (see above. Repeat as needed.) and OMG the BUS! and my son David set his camera to "burst" which sounds like the setting that fans also were on with giddy excitement but actually it's how you end up with more than 200 photographs for your mom to plow through while she's still up on Cloud Johnny because you can snap four shots PER SECOND like how you would photograph a fast-moving sporting event which is kind of what this was like because there were just under 100 people (100 being the limit allowed by Borders) and we moved so briskly that when we were all done Borders had Johnny sign ANOTHER 50 or so books from some random cart and even THEN he was all finished by not quite 11:40 a.m., upon which he donned his fur coat, grabbed his Starbucks, and was hustled back onto OMG the BUS! and that was that.

And I would describe it all in more detail for you because he was so incredibly kind both to me and to my son but then we went home and I was back on my computer checking the schedule for Nationals for some friends who want to go see him receive his Readers' Choice Award there at the end of this month and not only is he still not even listed though I understand according to knowledgeable sources that he is, in fact, going to be there to accept the trophy, I discovered that this is the actualfax brochure for Nationals this year featuring on its actualfax front cover an athlete who is not Johnny but like Johnny is not competing this season and so suddenly I came down with a bad case of what can only be described as USFS Tourette's* in which I shout angry epithets at odd intervals and thus am currently unable to finish sentences--


--without random bursts of my own.

Which brings me to my main point:

It is very very hard for me to reconcile the contrast between the way Johnny--a three-time National Champion, two-time Olympian, World medalist, AND two-time Readers' Choice winner, AND one of the best ambassadors for the sport of figure skating EVER--treats his fans, and the way those who control said sport--


--treat him.

It's especially difficult after reading Johnny's book.

And so yeah, I'm back to beating dead horses and tilting at large, conservative, monolithic, and deliberately clueless windmills with renewed vigor. Because this is just--

--really f*cking wrong!--

--really f*cking wrong.

Underground sources whisper that inviting Evan Lysacek to perform at what used to be called the "Exhibition Gala"--but since at least 2008 has been known as the "Smucker's Skating Spectacular" because money talks, and in this case it's saying, "Hey USFS! We're in your gala rewriting your rules!"--on January 30 is an unprecedented move on the part of--


USFS. I believe it has never been done before. Ever.

And hey, it's not like we haven't had Olympic gold medalists before. In fact, twelve of them showed up at last year's Nationals exhibition as guests of honor. But none of them were invited to, you know, skate there.

--W.   T.    F.!---

Look, I don't mean to take anything away from Evan. He is the reigning Olympic gold medalist. But inviting him to skate not only violates USFS's own rules, it also kind of takes away from those whom the exhibition is really intended to honor: The skaters who actually medal at Nationals this year.

But since USFS has already opened that door, then it really, really seems indefensible to not invite Johnny to skate as well--especially since he's a HUGE viewership draw who is being given an award from them at their exhibition (oh, excuse me, I mean the spectacular that Smucker's bought from them).

By inviting Evan, they've just proven that they can apply their rules willy-nilly as they see fit--or allow themselves to be bullied into doing so.

Neither Evan nor Johnny are competing this year. Neither is medaling at Nationals. And as far as I know, no reigning but non-competing OGM has previously been invited to skate. Until now. When Smucker's headliner from Smucker's Stars on Ice suddenly gets invited to skate at the Smucker's Skating Spectacular.

--whole lotta smuckers in that sentence!--

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I said all this already. I know. And I'm not an idiot: I also know it's highly unlikely that USFS will change their minds just because Johnny's fans campaign energetically on his behalf.

And I could almost try to live with it--

--no! cuttabitch!--

except then this happened:

A friend and fellow Johnny fan, who has been helping with the campaign and who also has been an all-around figure-skating fan for years and years and years, posted an upbeat, positive, and polite request on the USFS Facebook page asking ever so nicely if they please would consider extending their "come and skate!" invitation to not only Evan but also to Johnny, for all the good reasons we've already discussed.

And they responded.

By removing her post and blocking her from their page completely.



--seriously, are they really such UnbelievablySmugFatheadedSlores?--

Yes, apparently they are.

BTW, I find it highly amusing that Johnny has 46,400+ Facebook fans--and keeps gaining more daily--while USFS has less than one-third of that, at about 14,600. Oh, and they have a whopping 6,500 Twitter followers--just 72,000+ to go to catch up with Johnny!

Of course, Smucker's doesn't even have a Twitter OR a Facebook page. Or a way to email them without using their annoying "Contact" form.

But there's one thing they do have:

A lovely promo of Evan on their home page.

And so for me, having the chance to enjoy a really wonderful moment with Johnny at the Chicago book signing just inspires me all over again to fight this. There's hardly anything I won't do to support him (well, listen to Howard Stern. But millions of other people did, so I don't think he noticed my absence ...)

And I hope that knowing how much our support means to Johnny also inspires many of his fans--whoever is inclined to do so, though of course there's no obligation, no purchase required, and no salesman will call--to keep spamming @USFigureSkating, @ATT (sponsors of the Nationals competition but not of the exhibition), @NBC, @NBC_Sports, @UniversalSports, and @NC2011 with requests to invite Johnny to skate. (Please remember to include the #JGWSK8 hashtag!) Some also have written to GLAAD, OutSports, and other media outlets to alert them to the situation and ask that they take a closer look at it.

Of course I want him to get that invitation. But I would also be thrilled if we could just embarrass the hell out of USFS and Smuckers by raising the visibility of the question until it can no longer be ignored. And that includes asking the related question: Is there an anti-gay bias at the root of this?

Silence implies consent.

And I most heartily--

-- UnitedSkatingForSmuckers! Which sounds kinda dirty! Cuz it kinda is!--

--do NOT consent to yet another insult to Johnny from USFS and Smuckers.

--because I have HAD IT with these mothersmucking snakes in this mothersmucking sport!--

OMG the BUS!
Parked right in downtown Chicago!
Photo courtesy of David Ingogly.
Chicago picspam coming soon!

Johnny tweeted recently:
"Buy my single,'Dirty Love' via iTunes.
Tell all your friends to as well. The more copies sold
takes me one step closer to making a video! №1!"
You know what to do.
Please buy the song from Johnny's website,
or just click the "Buy" button on the player
at the top of the blog!

Hey, Welcome to My World also is available
as an eBook! More info on Johnny's website!

Please vote for Johnny on Twitter
in the #sports category of the "Shorty Awards"!
Just tweet your vote at this link!

Designer T. Rains and Johnny have teamed up to raise money and awareness for The Trevor Project! This organization is "determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources." Proceeds from the "Army of One" t-shirt sales will go to The Trevor Project foundation. Order yours today! Your support is greatly appreciated!
For more information, please visit

Yes! You can own a fine art print of Johnny
perfect for any/every room in the house!
Prints of artist Peter Jurik's "Showtime!"
are available for purchase from his website.
More info here!

Please remember to
register to receive
the JW Art Project's email newsletter!
They have great tidbits to offer,
and you get a special sneak peek at an exclusive photo
from the Artbook when you sign up!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly /
David W. Ingogly / all rights reserved
(*Disclaimer: Please know that in no way do I mean to trivialize
the difficulties faced by those who are challenged with real Tourette's in real life.)


Anonymous said...

That was pretty awful what they did to Beth! I just went and posted the exact same thing she did on the USFS pg (even tho I'm not really a "skating fan for many years") to see if they block me too, which I could care less about other than the joy of them getting their panties in a wad over it. :-)

We want to hear about your wonderful moment with Johnny though! Will that be coming soon? And speaking of coming soon, WTF is up with no more book tour dates announced yet?? Whole swatches of the country have yet to be covered. I don't even have a physical copy of the book yet (just digital) because I don't know which store he will be signing in. I've emailed the contact on Johnny's website but had no reply... I guess I'll just keep emailing. Glad the Chicago signing was a success!!


Anonymous said...

Apparently I am not the only one whose comments get removed when anything is mentioned about Nationals and Johnny skating. I love figure skating in the US but I hate US figure skating as a federation. Johnny is an incredible athelete and they need to let him skate. They are lucky he is willing to do it IMO! You would think they would at least want to please the figure skating fans, which is a small community! whats stupid here is I am a fan, of figure skating. I love it, I support it, and I watch it. I watched it since I was a baby(according to my parents). I watched it for years before I ever saw Johnny skate for the first time when he was 16 and he became my all-time favorite skater instantly. Why the USFSA doesnt care at all about anyones opinion is #notcool. My post was polite, saying I was excited about nationals and would love to see johnny skate. I AM excited. I DO want to see him skate being he is there and I will be there too. Thats all. #ridiculous


Daleth Hall said...

Binky, I have a genuine FRENCH insult for you to add to your asshats/fvcktards arsenal: POUFIASSES! It means "idiotic bitches" or "stupid slores," and it has the added advantage of looking like it says "puffy asses." AND, as if that were not enough reason to use it on the federation (cue Darth Vader's Death Star music...), there's one more reason: because the first syllable is pronounced "poo."

What could be more appropriate??

BTW, it's pronounced "poo-fyahss." Two syllables. You know how French is--they always use five or six more letters than they need.

Nancy Knisley said...

I believe that someday the USFSA will rue the time when they failed to deliver what the fans and potential donors wanted, to do what the USFSA in their "wisdom" thought was "best" for the sport.

I'm not just talking about Johnny Weir and the issue of his not skating at this year's Nationals, but about USFSA's misguided and shortsighted decisions over many years.

Princess Johnny-Love ♥ said...

AUGH! i'm right there with you, MM.

and thanks to Delta for an awesome new insult to use. POUFIASSES! hee hee! i like that!

i think i'm gonna head right on over to the POUFIASSES's facebook page and get blocked, too. just to show my support for fellow skating fans.

and, yes, i've written all my letters like a good little Kitten.

wish i had billions of dollars so i could buy out mothersmuckers and make them change the name to the Johnny Weir Skating Spectacular!

or at least buy Army of One tshirts for EVERYONE going to Nationals and hand them out for free outside. could you imagine that? the entire audience wearing Johnny t-shirts? *smirk*

anyway, can't wait to hear about your latest Johnny experience and see David's photos.



p.s. i'm wondering if our next campaign should be asking for a 2nd season of SWTS with the Most Beautiful Head Judge ever?

Princess Johnny-Love ♥ said...

oops, sorry! not Delta, Daleth. just woke up, still a little fuzzy.

WheresMyKoppy said...

Once again MM, great Blog! And see David knows what mommmy likes, right?? :- D

I understand your frustration, and I honestly don't know what's gotten into the USFSA. I mean I can't fault them for having a sponsor, they need one, but there's no reason to act like buttheads about it. I Just don't want a backlash against Johnny, that's all. After all this I don't want him anywhere near SOI, not that I ever did, because they've often had questionable business practices long before Smuckers, long before Discover, way back when they messed with Boitano and Witt's 'Skating' tour dates. And that's not the only thing...

Hey Daleth, #POUFIASSES makes a great Twitter hashtag, don't you think?

Daleth Hall said...

Princess Robin Johnny-Love,
That t-shirts idea is EXCELLENT. Love it!

Now we just have to convince the federation to use "POUFIASSES" as their Twitter hashtag. Wait! I know! Let's start a satirical federation Twitter feed! We could all post comments purporting to be from the federation!
...(type type type)...
Ok! I just did it!!/poufiasses/
Email me and I'll send you the password so we can all post. Hee hee hee hee hee