Wednesday, December 8, 2010

SWTS Haiku II: This Time It's Personal

Yes! He’s skating tonight!
And we think the show might be sold out!
There was a tweet that said so! But we’re not really sure!
So we tried to get four tickets and couldn’t!
But we could get one! So maybe there’s only one left!
In any case, it’s kinda too late to throw the kids in the car
and drive 1,200 miles to San Antonio by tonight
although don’t think for a minute that that didn’t cross my mind,
but it’s OK because this show will be broadcast nationally
on Fox next Sunday, December 19, at 4:30 EST!
(or whenever the NFL game preceding it ends ...)

SWTS Haiku II: This Time It’s Personal
(I was so torn over whether to go with this
or SWTS Haiku II: Electric Boogaloo ...)

Imma leave this here

Vile stench; the blue sparrow falls

[We interrupt this haiku to bring you an important message from our sponsor:

OK, three things:

(1) Bethenny: YOU made it personal when he critiqued your SKATING and you snarked about his perceived SEXUALITY.

“Bethenny joked, ‘I am the woman Johnny Weir wants to be and he clearly has an issue with that.’”

That’s personal.

Oh, and when you said, “F*ck Johnny Weir” on national television.

Your fans have also been working industriously to make it really personal, and you’ve done nothing to discourage them. Instead you tweet-cooed, “Your comments are so sweet.”

(2) If you corner someone where you think the cameras can’t see you (though I hope to Sweet Weirsus that Butch and Grams were filming this from every angle like Fellini on crack) just to snarl at him, “I’m not taking this personally!” you’ve pretty much proven that you are.

(3) So here are some tips to help you respond with professionalism to a professional critique from a professional in a sport or discipline where he or she is an expert and you’re ... not:

Do say: “Thank you. I really appreciate your insights.”

Don’t say: “F*ck you.” Or, “I’ll get through you with a blade up your ass.” Or, “I will slap [that judge] upside her head.” Or, “I don’t care what [they] think.”

We now rejoin our haiku already in progress.]

Johnny saves the day

 Ahhhhhhhhhh. All better.

Now we can really enjoy these bonus SWTS .gifs from Jenn Kittler (thank you, Jenn!):
Uncle Dick is the TSA X-ray machine of skating.
I love that they’re all having such a good time!

Johnny e-l-o-n-g-a-t-e-s .... with Laurie Ann’s help.

And also savor this article. Including this part: Weir said: “I didn’t know any of these celebrities except for Jonny. [oh SNAP! Bethenny, you’re not even on his radar.] I didn’t care if they were famous or not. I just try to judge everyone fairly.”

And especially this part: “Bethenny Frankel--likely the person going home next week--scored a 26.” Holy Mother of Gaga, hear our LOL.

And now that we’re all in a much better mood, one final note: The kids and I are throwing ourselves in the car to try to make it to Flint this weekend! (barring sudden blizzards). Where apparently, if we don’t skid off the road on a patch of notorious Midwestern black ice and I don’t have a stroke over whatever Bethenny tweets next, we shall see Johnny skate two programs AND sing “Dirty Love”!

Giddy blogs to immediately follow the show. :D :D :D :D

The next episode of Skating With the Stars
airs next Monday, December 13,
at 8 pm EST / 7 pm CST!
Don’t miss it!

Yes! There are still VIP meet-n-greet tickets available
for Holiday Dreams on Ice,
the spectacular December 11 show starring Johnny
and hosted by Perani Ice Arena in Flint, Michigan!
The meet-n-greet is limited to just 50 guests,
so reserve VIP tickets today with this form!

Please remember to check out
Johnny’s new official website!
It debuted recently to many rave reviews
on Twitter and Facebook,
so be sure to take a look around!
Love the intro page with the Swan photo
and handwritten note from Johnny. :)

Designer T. Rains and Johnny have teamed up to raise money and awareness for The Trevor Project! This organization is “determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources.” Proceeds from the “Army of One” t-shirt sales will go to The Trevor Project foundation. Order yours today! Your support is greatly appreciated!
For more information, please visit

Yes! You can own a fine art print of Johnny
perfect for any/every room in the house!
Prints of artist Peter Jurik’sShowtime!”
are available for purchase from his website.
More info here!

Here it comes: Johnny’s quarter-century memoir,
Welcome to My World, will be available
January 11, 2011—that’s just one month away!
You can preorder it now on Amazon!

Please remember to register to receive
the JW Art Project’s email newsletter!
They have great tidbits to offer,
and you get a special sneak peek at an exclusive photo
from the Artbook when you sign up!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


Maggie said...

Dear Bethenny,
All I want for Christmas is to be able to sing this song next Monday:
"Na na na na,
na na na na,
hey hey hey,

No Dirty Love for you!

I am glad Johnny is a classier act that I would be. I would have kicked her ass to the ground already and never looked back.

Thanks Jenn for the gifs. I can't stop watching Johnny pet Dick Button. It takes me to my happy place.

aaaack said...

Reality shows with pointless conflict/drama for conflict/drama's sake don't appeal to me. After what has come to pass, I'm less likely to seek out Bethenny's projects to view.

Johnny's scores at SWTS are echoed by the scores of his fellow judges, but he is singled out for abuse. What gives?

Johnny's history of being singled out and underscored at Nationals and the Olympics was commented on by many Olympians and experts in the field. Some of them are in the "athletic" (versus "artistic") school of skating and not normally fans of Johnny, just fans of fairness.

In contrast, I have been having some great fun looking up Vince Neil in action with Motley Crue: (Girls Girls Girls song from their Girls Girls Girls album) Wish I could give him a few more weeks on the ice 'cuz it would be neat to see a rock star singing while rocking comfortably on ice. Imagine Vince singing "Girls Girls Girls" while skating women pros gyrate and twirl about.

Debora Walsh said...

OMG, Binky...I told you I would love you forever if you .gif'd the hand-holding arm-stroke! Now I have it! True to my word, I will love you and Jenn Kittler forever, you for posting and her for creating.

So happy that you are making the trip to Flint!! Not only do you get Johnny in the flesh, but the world premier of "Dirty Love"!!!! AAAHHH! How great is that???!! I can't wait for your pics, vids & words!

I wish I could go, not just to see Johnny peform, but to help support that community that has suffered so much in the twenty years since Michael Moore called our attention to it's plight in the film "Roger & Me". I think it is so great that the show is being done there, and that it will benefit the food bank.
The pictures of the kids who will be skating in the show, posted on the Perani Arena Facebook page are so adorable, they are working so hard. To think how thrilled and excited they are to be able to perform with a star like Johnny Weir just makes me feel so happy for them.

Have a wonderful time...and can't wait to see the Johnny-love "unfurled"...! Ganbatte!

julie98 said...

Love this! Love the gif showing the love between Dick and Johnny! I am SO JEALOUS you are going to Flint but I know you'll do us right with an extensive re-cap.... written and visual.

jenn said...

Jelly jelly jelly bb. Have a safe trip. Hope you three have the best time evar!

WheresMyKoppy said...

I'm glad that the person who shall not be named felt the heat enough to actually say something, as pathetically grammatically incorrect and badly punctuated even for Twitter as it was; however it won't slow her fans garbage down much, if at all. As a matter of fact, they'll probably use it to make her look more like some perfect angelic being and JOhnny even more of a villain for saying something to Miss Perfection.

aaaack, when I saw your comment about Vince Neil I spent like 20 min looking for the original video (there are other versions) of 'Home Sweet Home', which I think is Vince's finest moment vocally. I finally found this version which has some dumb interview thing at the beginning. The actual song starts at around two minutes in, maybe more like 1:55 or so.

MM, great Blog as always! And have a safe and happy trip to Flint! We want to know all about it, especially 'Dirty Love'!

Princess Johnny-Love ♥ said...

love those gifs - they are making me very, very happy! ♥ ♥

sigh . . . should we just lock her in a room with the mongoose and they can snipe at each other?

so happy for you on the Flint show! details, BB, details!