Saturday, August 7, 2010

I Don't Evan ...

Oh, Evan. Really?

Well, at least you're consistent. Which I know is what Frank Carroll really, really wanted from you. Although apparently this is what happens when he lets go of the pull-string between your shoulder blades and walks away, and you're left to speak for yourself. You consistently never fail to disappoint. And you consistently never fail to sink to new lows of douchebaggery.

So just three things:

(1) You do realize that when stupid people tweet really stupid stuff to you, you don't have to tweet back, right? When you come across something like this in your @replies, you can just choose to carefully step over it, like the steaming pile of dogshit that it is, and move on. You know, like someone with an ounce of class would do.

(2) You also realize that Twitter is a public forum, right? You get that, right? So when you tweet something, all 57,628 57,613 57,601 57,586 57,585 of your followers see it. And some of them retweet it. And then when Johnny's fans get wind of it, all 63,561 of his followers start replying to it. And then all of their followers see it and start responding. You see where I'm going with this? No? Gee, I thought math was your thing. Let me spell it out for you: Your asshattery is showing in public in a really big way right now.

(3) And you do realize that you can't even try to pretend that this was a "joke" or "sarcasm," right? Even if you meant it as the lamest joke ever, there's just nothing funny here. This now puts you at the very bottom of the slore heap underneath those Quebec broadcasters from the Olys. Go check your @replies right now to get a glimpse of how many people you've managed to offend with these four words--including many of your fans. One of which I am not, nor have ever been.

So: Remember in kindergarten, when everybody else learned to "think before you speak" and "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"? It's a shame you weren't paying attention that day. Because now, no matter what you do, it'll be wrong.

You can ignore all the backlash from your tweet, but you'll look like a dick.

You can delete the tweet and pretend you didn't say it, which will make you look like even more of a dick. And a sneaky, cowardly one at that.

Or, you can apologize to Johnny and everyone else who found this appallingly offensive. And ... you'll still look like a dick.

You could have avoided all of this by simply choosing to STFU.

But there's an upside here. Well, not for you. But for Johnny. Because since you can't be a good example, now you can just serve as a terrible warning. So he can look at your appalling little tweet, crinkle his nose at its foul aroma, and then step gracefully aside and sail right on past it up there on the high road, choosing not to dignify it with even the slightest bit of his attention.

And if somebody has the bad manners to ask him about it, he can simply smile, shake his head slightly, and respond, with grace and class (look 'em up. They're not anywhere near the word "mongoose" in the dictionary, if that helps) and a look of genuine pity on his beautiful face: "Poor Evan. He doesn't even know that the correct phrase is, ' The jury is still out.' "

BTW: The jury deliberating over your tweet is now in. And here's our verdict: We find the defendant guilty of indefensible dapperness. And of being about as poor an example of an Olympic champion as we have ever been embarrassed to have.

Oh, and @TahitianFantasy? WTF?

Sigh. Your idiocy likely renders you beyond my help, but I'll try. Does this answer your question?

Hey! You can enter to win a virtual styling session
with Johnny and a $500 shopping spree
Just submit a photo of the most
outrageous item in your closet!
Johnny will be choosing the winner in 14 days!
More info here!

Coming soon: The series
of translated interviews from the Mook Book
courtesy of the fabulous Akiko Nakata!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


Anonymous said...

hahaha! i KNEW you were busy writing a new blog post, i just knew it!

how much you wanna bet he's going to delete it, say he got hacked, or go the "it was just a joke" route.

can they take a medal away for grievous asshattery?

and why doesn't the ability to speak in articulate sentences and pass a basic intelligence test factor into awarding medals?

sigh . . . not to mention flailing arms while skating.

ack! sorry, it's hard to talk about the orange one without disintegrating into annoyance.

anyway, i think i'm gonna go send the asshat the link to your blog.


Robin aka Princess Johnny-Love

WheresMyKoppy said...

Thank you MM for posting this Blog. You did mention you were thinking about it, and I am glad that you did it. And thank you also for the class you displayed in deciding to keep it away from Johnny's fan page.

I decided I wasn't going to say anything after all the Tweets; so I just reposted the video of Johnny's Vancouver press conference, and added in the EqCa event and the recent GLAAD Manhattan interview he did with a small amount of description. I figured our charming, intelligent, eloquent, well spoken Johnny Weir could say it for me.

Thank you so much for doing a much better job of talking about this than I could have done!

You are the best, and you are absolutely correct in everything you said!

germansoulmate said...

Good one.

Anonymous said...

@EvanLysacek Dear Evan, why don't you have any manners? You're acting like a big oaf!

Signed, Ping

Bsontwit said...

I think I said all I need to in my tweets last night,being I am on 2 hours sleep here I will just post them:

@EvanLysacek even for you this is a new low Evan! WTF??? some olympic champion!!! @johnnygweir is a better person than you'll ever be!

@evanlysacek if its a joke then tweet @johnnygweir an apology-it was a mean joke if it even was that.

@EvanLysacek yes the verdict is out @johnnygweir is a fantastic, beautiful, incredibly talented man who has a ton of fans that love him!


Anonymous said...

You are very wise because you don't link directly this post to FB.
I always love your style of writing.
Thank you.


Ila said...

Spot on and well said as usual, Binky. It's no wonder that Johnny recognizes you as the voice of his legions of fans. Oh, and I'm loving that Evan inspired you to use one of my all-time favorite words, "douchebaggery". Own it, then zip it, Evan!

JEKitten said...

Johnny Weir is more man than Evan Lysacek could ever hope to be. The jury is unanimous.

Jana Colgin said...

I seriously didn't believe this was real when I saw it this morning over on livejournal. I thought it was a prank. He isn't really that stupid or mean, right? But then I checked twitter, and wrong. Turns out he is both. What a terribly offensive and inappropriate thing to say about Johnny. I hope GLADD makes him publicly apologize. He's just awful. I tweeted him back how disappointing that was to see, a public figure, an olympian, with so much meanness in him. I'm appalled. Johnny is more of a man than he could ever be.

JEKitten said...

Thanks for getting the word out to J's people. Would hate to have him blindsided. Such a nasty, hurtful comment, especially from someone who knows him. What a bastard. I hope he's pilloried for it. Wish I could spend the day tweeting support for J. We love you bb. You're 100x the human being Evan could ever be.

Way to represent me and my country, Lysacek.

Wendy S said...

"But there's an upside here. Well, not for you." LOL!

I have a strict credo to not intentionally straight-up insult another person online. So I've been having a *really hard time* composing tweets this morning! Seriously, I have a list of things I want to say. Oh, go ahead and say them here? OKAY!:

Dear Evan, you're just such an embarrassment. I can't wait for history to file you away as an afterthought.


Dear Evan, didn't you learn anything from being on the receiving end of the Evan Liesaboutlikingchicks "jokes", which I'm sure made you laugh and laugh? Oh, you didn't find them funny?


Dear Evan, why so asshat?

I could go on, of course. I might, later. Because Evan gives me serious lemonface. We'll see how well the day progresses.

Thanks Bink, and happy day-after-your-birthday day! xo!

Amy Draghi said...

You say it with Grace. Love it!!

Karen said...

You're the best, MM. How could anyone, esp someone who's in the public eye, think for a second that it would be ok to publish a cruel offensive "joke" in the most public of public forums? I hate that Johnny has to deal with crap like this - I hate that anyone does. I feel so badly for all of Evan's (now-ex-)fans who were hurt, offended, and disappointed by his words. And to anyone who tries to excuse this: I don't care if he was "joking," because there's nothing funny about that kind of joke. And don't you dare compare anything Johnny has ever said to this.

The jury, indeed. Now THAT'S funny.

Anonymous said...

This quote from Mark Twain fits Evan, who only seems to open his mouth in order to change feet:

"Tis better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt."

Today we could replace "a fool" with "a bigot", "a jerk", "stupid", etc..

Maggie St. said...

Always the voice of reason you are :)

Regarding Johnny, Thank G-d I backed the TRUE Winner! My heart & soul knows beauty when she sees it. ♥

DQ said...

Thanks, Binky! I've been fuming about this all morning. I hope all the collective negative energy arising from this gives Evan a headache he'll never forget!!

Anonymous said...

My parents instilled in their children that it was a human being's responsibility to confront prejudice, injustice, racism, etc. whenever they saw it. As children, we asked what could we do. My mother told us that if we were around anyone who told a racist joke, for example, to simply say "That is racist" and walk away.

I understand people are infuriated, as am I. That comment was completely disgraceful. However, I do hope that we can all finally see hm for what he is, and walk away. We're giving Evan our time and attention, and that's what he wants.

Sadly, I was a quasi-Evan fan until this. I adore JGW, but he's let a couple of little snarky comments fly himself. However, this is completely beyond the pale. It made me, as I'm sure it did many people, actually feel nauseous.

Annie said...

EEEK... I am at a complete loss...

But, thankfully, you (et al) are not.

Mean, negative, hurtful, unkind. Such BAD energy.

And to give a visual to your "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" reference:


Anonymous said...

I am, i mean, WAS an Evan fan from the Olympics, but saw these tweets on ONTD. WTF, boy, where's your head?!

Seriously, I don't even use my twitter account but I had to reply to this. I just don't understand why he didn't just ignore it? I mean, whatever personal problem you might have with your fellow skater is your business, but insulting his gender on a public forum is just bad form. I'm no longer a fan. Somebody better take that boy down a notch!!! >.<

Mimi said...

Amen Sister!!!!

Anonymous said...

With that tweet, Evan has shown that his brain and soul are as beautiful, graceful, and charming as his skating--again. Ugh.

Comments like Evan's tweet are not only an insult to Johnny, but to other beautiful, sparkly men and boys who are like him.

Disgusting, Evan, really, really, disgusting!

Out of this ugly, we must make something beautiful. Any suggestions on how? Donations to GLADD, perhaps?

--Nancy K.

Nico said...


I'm currently sitting in a room packed with sleepyheaded 13 year-old girls the morning after a slumber party. What are they doing? Funny you ask...they're watching the Johnny Weir episode of "When I was 17" on MTv, and they're giggling and squeeing over our very own Favorite Man Ever.

As soon as I finish typing, I'll be off to sprinkle them with glitter and make them J-shaped pancakes? Why not round? The shape of undeserved gold medals makes them puke.

Love love,

Anonymous said...

Of course, I meant I planned to make a donation in Johnny's name to GLAAD, not "GLADD."
--Nancy K.

Anonymous said...

Here's the link to make a GLAAD donation in Johnny's name:
--Nancy K.

DEBORAH said...

Evan has proven what we have all known for years. He is so into himself and the Federation's views of what a man really should look like and act like, that he just doesn't get that saying things like this is inappropriate. Also, he should remember that even if you might not agree with someone's sexual preference, doesn't mean that you can discriminate against them either. He needs to see a shrink for his hatred and non-acceptance of other people. It's just that he is jealous of what Johnny has gotten from his talent that he's trying to make himself feel better by bringing Johnny and others down. It definitely has worked against him and will continue to until he learns how to treat other people with more RESPECT.

Anonymous said...

Binky, that was kick-ass! Thank you for saying what needed to be said, and for saying it so perfectly.


Anonymous said...

Shame on you Evan. You have truly closed the door on all of those who MIGHT have tried to see why you deserved the GOLD. Now many people won't even care to try. You did it to yourself.


noviarium said...

Well-said, Binky. You speak for many of us.

It's 6 am after a wholly sleepless night that started amazingly and then was ruined completely by Evan's tweet. I don't have many words to say what I feel. Just that I am ever so glad that I am a fan of Johnny Weir, who even in his moments of anger and sadness and playfulness, speaks with tact and wit and honesty.

akiko said...

Oh, poor Evan. You are not happy, you are not satisfied, even though you have a gold medal. We can imagine. You don't think you have been treated like a gold medalist after the Olympics, do you? We agree. Nobody is making a documentary about you, nobody made a song for you, nobody asked you to write a book, nobody gave you a small planet. You were not chosen as the 2010 Readers' Choice Award for Skater of the Year. You are sad, you are jealous. So you revealed what you are and lost a lot of fans. You will lose much more. But don't worry. You won't be forgotten. You will be remembered as a stupid, jealous, evil-minded, coward liar for good.

Binky, thank you for the new blog! I appreciate your consideration for Johnny.

Anonymous said...

Misfit Mimes, I agree with you. This whole thing is sordid and disgraceful on Evan Lysacek's fault providing his "I got hacked!" defense really is untruthful. (Which it seems on its face.)

We know that Evan Lysacek seems to want to prove his masculinity, somehow, by putting down other men and fellow figure skaters. He's probably done similar things in the past -- but you have to remember, the main reason someone does/says something like this is because he is _not_ secure in himself and he wants to make himself feel "better" by being nasty and disgusting.

Johnny Weir is a gentleman. I don't care what his sexuality is. (None of my business, anyway.) But he is a gentleman and also seems to be a genuinely nice and gracious person. He doesn't deserve this kind of garbage, but he has to realize that it takes all sorts of people to make up this wide, wild world we live in -- even the stupid, disgraceful, sordid and disgusting.

Evan Lysacek definitely should be ashamed of himself because he definitely should know better.

Anonymous said...

Awesome post about it all! Especially your conclusion...Wraps up very very nicely.