Wednesday, July 7, 2010

What's Next for a Man Who Has His Own Planet? Dancing With the Stars, Of Course!

Actually I'd say Johnny has been
dancing with the stars his whole life.
It's just taken the rest of the world
a while to catch on...

[Readers' Advisory: I am feeling a bit scattered and not a little crabby. Also kinda whiny. It's like when all your clothes fit wrong and Johnny is in Japan but you're not and there's that one strand of hair that just keeps sticking out at a weird angle no matter how much water or hairspray you put on it and Johnny will be in Sun Valley but you won't and nothing tastes good but you keep wanting to snack on everything in sight because you're just so annoyed by the fact that all your clothes fit wrong and Johnny will also be in Lake Placid but you won't and there's that one strand of hair...



So during the tweet-a-thon with Johnny last week, Facebook fan BSonTwit asked, "We have been tweeting to get you on DWTS--do u want that?" To which Johnny replied with an emphatic, "Yes!"

And in another interview last week, Johnny mentioned again that he'd really love to partner with Karina Smirnoff on DWTS, and also that "we’re definitely talking to all the right people about Dancing With the Stars. They are definitely talking back to us, so it’s just going to be a matter of time."

Well, time is exactly what we have a lot of on our hands right now, what with Johnny in Japan this week for "Fantasy on Ice," a phrase that certainly fills us with intense mopey jealousy happiness for the Japanese fans. So what we need is a focused mission that involves mounting a foot massager social media to unite us in a common purpose that does not leave us staring wistfully at airfares to Japan and comparing those with the cost of simply FedExing ourselves to Superfan Ikuko and hoping she'll just place us gently on one of the several cartloads of gifts we're sure she'll be dropping off at the hotel throughout the week...

Again with the scattered. Focus, Binky, focus.

All righty then, Johnny! who probably spent the day poking Tara awake with his elbow every time she tried to catch just a ten-minute nap on the plane to Japan. Where I am not. Your wish is our command!

To amuse ourselves while Johnny is out of the country--which always leaves me feeling a bit bereft, because when he's in the US at least I understand the time zones but once he crosses over the International Dateline into tomorrow, I just feel really seriously left behind and all Back to the Future-ish and then I find myself pestering my son to please make me a real flux capacitor if he's not too busy modifying the source code to Windows 7 so it will stop making me all facedesk, and then I can swoop into Niigata in my DeLorean yesterday, which is like next Thursday or something in Japan, and join Ikuko rinkside with additional gifts--let's work on driving the Dancing With the Stars people into absolute deer-in-the-headlights Twitter overload! With bonus #failwhale!

"Let's dance...
put on your red shoes and dance the blues... "
--David Bowie, to whom Johnny has been compared

Now when he says "talking to the right people," I have no idea what that means. Although I'm guessing the wrong people would be these. So I'm not exactly sure in which direction our Glitter Cannon o' Love should be aimed. Were it an ordinary cannon, of course I would be aiming it directly at the USFSA. But in this case, I think a multi-cannon approach is advisable. So, in consultation with other fans who also spent most of yesterday tracking Johnny's flight and wishing they were Tara want to make Johnny's DWTS dream come true, we came up with these steps (get it? "steps"? See, that's like a dance pun! A really, really sad one. Especially considering we started out here with a sort of "battle-plan" metaphor complete with cannons, and now all of a sudden we're doing dance steps, albeit awkward ones, because it's hard to dance gracefully with something as stiff and devoid of personality as a cannon. Just ask Anna Trebunskaya) to follow in launching our DWTS campaign.

So we're asking everybody to please:

*Join the Johnny Weir Needs to Be on DWTS Facebook page!

*Join the Dancing With the Stars Facebook page! ("1,124,404 People Can't Be Wrong! Unless They Voted for Bush!")

*Follow these Twitter accounts: @ABC_DWTS, @ABC_Publicity, and @TeamWeirnoff (yes! There's already a Twitter account and a cool team name for Johnny and Karina!).

*Post lots of messages on the DWTS FB page begging ABC to give us Team Weirnoff next season! So that those other 1,124,404 people might see our posts and decide they'd like that, too!

*Spread the word to the media via e-mail! Johnny-friendly media outlets include Perez Hilton (yes, I know. Just don't read the comments there. Perez is wonderfully supportive of Johnny and has a huge audience on his website and his Twitter); Greg in Hollywood (Twitter); Towleroad (Twitter); Dlisted; and Queerty (Twitter).

*Especially start tweeting like crazy to @ABC_DWTS and @ABC_Publicity--and everybody else above--to tell them we want to see TeamWeirnoff next season!

(1) Please use the hashtags #TeamWeirnoff and #DWTS so that we can track our tweets. #DWTS gets a LOT of usage onTwitter, so if we pair that with #TeamWeirnoff in our tweets, we have a good shot at garnering some attention.

(2) @TeamWeirnoff has been tweeting using the hashtag #JohnnyWeirDWTS. But unfortunately, when you track that hashtag, it gets renamed "#johnnyweirdwts," which the eye tends to read as  "JohnnyWeirdWTS" and we'd like to put an end to that whole "Johnny Weird" thing he's had to put up with his whole life. So for our purposes, please use #TeamWeirnoff and #DWTS.

(3) Our goal is to show ABC how popular Johnny is and what a boost he would be to DWTS' ratings. So, in contrast to NewNowNext, in which we sent LOTS OF TWEETS from a small group of tweeters, for DWTS we need LOTS OF PEOPLE--or at least what appears to be lots of people--to send (yes, lots of) tweets. Many of our NNN Olympic Tweeters opened multiple accounts, and we recommend that strategy also for DWTS.

OK then! We'll be posting updates on our tweeting and any responses we receive here and on our Johnny Weir Needs to Be on DWTS Facebook page!

We tweeted more than 100,000 votes for Johnny in the NewNowNext awards, hitting a peak average of more than 3,200 tweets per day. Let's see if we can beat those numbers for DWTS!

I leave you with this .gif of Johnny and Karina to inspire you to campaign for them. I'm going to start tweeting right away myself, just as soon as I fix that strand of hair again and update this .gif by carefully replacing Karina's head with my own ...

Hey! You can purchase a T-shirt
in honor of our Ride for Life project!
We exceeded our $7,500 donation goal,
so now we're aiming for $10,000!
We're less than $2,000 away,
and we have until July 31 to get there!
Shirts are $20 each including shipping,
and $10 of that goes directly toward AIDS/LifeCycle!
Everything you need to know about ordering is here!

the 2010 Readers' Choice Skater of the Year Award
(voting ends July 15)!

Special thanks to Facebook fans Lizzy Pine for her art
and Robin Fosdick for her invaluable help
in writing this post (including but not limited to
the phrase, "Glitter Cannon o' Love")!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


Amy D. said...

Love it as always!!!!

Coa Coa said...

Is that ToTo? you are sooooo funny!!!!!

akiko said...

Binky, let me call you my whining partner if you don't mind it. Johnny is in Japan and I'm too!! I'm in raptures about it!! Wait. That's not all. Johnny will be staying in Niigata, but I WON'T. CAN'T. I posted "Welcome, Johnny!" to FB, dizzied by flaming jealousy for happy Japanese fans--I wrote as if I were one of them--who are going to Niigata, or who ARE already there. I have no massage machine. Even if I had, I doubt my thighs would fit it like Johnny's. SIGH. OK. I will follow your directions so that at least I will feel I can do something FOR JOHNNY--I have never met him--while he is in Japan. TEARS.

bsontwit said...

Johnny Weir on DWTS would be the most entertaining thing on tv in a while. Even for non-fans, the costumes alone would be worth tuning in for! I will keep tweeting to get him on. I wonder WHEN the final decision on next season is? I have asked the abc people this and on the off chance they get back to me, i will pass the info on.

and actually there has been some resistance from some fans to DWTS. i have been "contacted" by someone who felt i should not be tweeting DWTS because they dont want him on the show. I dont know whats best for him, but I do know I am a huge supporter of whatever he wants to do. He said YES so its a go on DWTS. Lets try and get him what he wants! I truly believe that he will do well and he will be so fun to watch!

bsontwit said...

so funny- just after entering my comment above i received a tweet explaining WHEN we may get an answer on this!! Here it is:

TeamWeirnoff @BSonTwit The pattern has been that announcements are made on #GoodMorningAmerica during the third or fourth week of August.

bsontwit said...

i promise this is my last comment- LOL

if you dont know what to tweet heres one i tweeted this morning-it has all key words. Just copy and paste this and send it:

@ABC_DWTS @ABC_Publicity so many people talking about @TeamWeirnoff this season on #DWTS! @JohnnyGWeir would rock the show! #teamweirnoff

aaaack said...

Next year, let's name a star after Johnny too, or even create the constellation Weir. Or rename Cassiopeia after Weir (it's already in the shape of a W). Meanwhile, thanks for the blog and the reminders. Tweet dreams.

Nico said...

I have that same feeling today. Yucky skin, ill-fitting clothes, out of sorts, quiet but agitated at the same time. And then I ready your blog and I think about Him......wandering....distracted....and I just know it will all be okay. Soon! Soon there will be new pictures!! Maybe even new video!! And this feeling will vanish like chinks in the freshly-Zamboni'd ice.

But, YES!!! DWTS...and anything else he wants, thank you very much. I'm on it.
Love love, Nico

PumaJ said...

MM, Your pics and gifs just keep getting better and better, funnier and funnier.

Will start on the Tweet trail:-)

Maggie St. said...

Looks like I got my marching orders, General Binky! Will be adding, um, those twitter accounts - what you said they were, to my Moo58 account right away.

Good News Everybody! As of July 16, I will be unemployed! So I will have nothing to do all day but tweet for Johnny & Karina. (oh yeah. besides that whole "look for a new job" thing).

Anonymous said...

Thanks again Binky, for a wonderful, entertaining and of course, humorous blog! Just what I needed, something ELSE to take up more of my time, lol! I am already trying to do my part. And BSonTwit, I think I have a clue who the person might be who contacted you. I definitely know of a spoil sport on FB who has that attitude about not only DWTS but also about the idea I had for suggesting Johnny be in someone's show among other things.