Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Close to the Vest: Part 1

An Untold Skate-for-Hope Story--
      Well, Untold Until Now, Anyway

Starring denizens of the Haus of Weir: Fairy Godmother, Ninja Girl, and Fresh New Designer (Notorious F'nD). Featuring cameo appearances by Glitter Yak and Glen Coco.

[cue Mission Impossible theme]

dun dun DAH DAH dun dun DAH DAH dun dun DAH DAH dun dun ... 

Great moments of inspiration sometimes come from the most unexpected places at the most surprising times.

Thus the idea hit Ninja Girl whilst in the bath.

Some weeks earlier--May 6, 2010, to be precise--Johnny had attended the 88 for AIDS benefit in support of AIDS Walk New York. At the beautiful reception for which Ninja Girl would have cut off several limbs to attend, he met Fresh New Designer (aka Notorious F'nD), an FIT student wearing a particularly dazzling vest covered in peacock feathers that F'nD had designed and sewn himself:

Notorious F'nD models his peacock-tastic creation
at 88 for AIDS!

Johnny was so stunned at the sheer brilliant awesomeness of the vest--as was everyone else in attendance--that reportedly he cooed, "I want to rip that off your body." (How often do we get to hear that come out of his mouth? Sweet Jesus, not nearly often enough. But we digress.)

Johnny and F'nD at 88 for AIDS after Johnny apparently decided
not to rip F'nD's clothing from his body.

So while Ninja Girl was sudsing up and certainly not thinking anything inappropriate about any figure skater in particular, it hit her that since she was headed to Ohio soon to see some random figure skater of whom she would never think inappropriately, she needed to find a gift for Johnny! Er, for some random guy, we mean. Or girl. Don’t hate.

Ninja Girl had not previously spoken to F'nD--whom she had friended on Facebook soon after seeing his picture with Johnny, because there’s nothing Ninja Girl loves more than a small, well-dressed gay man--but she flung herself at the computer to explain her idea to F'nD and beg for his help. Happily, she was able to secure an enthusiastic thumbs-up, despite the fact that finals were fast approaching and F'nD was just the tiniest bit swamped with trying to survive FIT.

Then came the mission to find Johnny's measurements. Because you can't create custom-fitted clothes simply by making assumptions and microanalyzing hundreds of pictures while holding up a tape measure to a computer screen. That involves math, and for Ninja Girl, that shit is not happening. So she sought the help of Fairy Godmother, who was thrilled to be involved in helping to create such a special gift.

Then came no small degree of panic and many tense days of waiting. And waiting. And then panicking because they had no idea how fast F'nD could sew (actually pretty damn fast, as it turns out).

[Here follows a brief abstract of the mission to figure out Johnny's measurements as approved by Weirlandian Homeland Security:

REDACTED and REDACTED Fairy Godmother REDACTED and REDACTED REDACTED. Then REDACTED also Glitter Yak! Because REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. After REDACTED, plus of course REDACTED REDACTED, and then, REDACTED both Fairy Godmother and REDACTED Glitter Yak REDACTED. So finally, REDACTED REDACTED, and at last REDACTED. There. Don’t you feel all REDACTED now? ]

So the heavens parted and everything was underway!

Over the next few weeks, this project brought together some of the most creative, incredible people Ninja Girl had ever met. Acquaintances became close friends and close friends became best friends. One of the many things that is so amazing about Johnny Weir is that he draws to him wonderful people similar to himself. Artistic, sweet, giving, brilliant—these are just a few words that describe both Johnny and F'nD.

So then there were the questions: What's Johnny’s favorite color to wear? Are peacock feathers really a good idea? What if F'nD added a crazy liner? Should the front have a zipper closure? Or maybe buttons? Does Johnny need a pocket? Who doesn't need a pocket?!

Back and forth and back and forth. F'nD relied on Ninja Girl and Fairy Godmother's extensive knowledge of / obsession with Johnny to create what all involved thought would be a perfect example of F'nD's skill and Johnny's taste.

The collaboration resulted in a truly stunning piece of couture that everyone very much hoped Johnny would adore. Behold the creative process:

We begin at the beginning ...

Wow. It looks like some sort of math may in fact
have been involved. Which did not in any way snare Ninja Girl
in its ugly grasp, for which she remains forever grateful ...

 The vest begins to take shape...

F'nD at work in his artist's garret ...

A rockin' pink lining, and yes! A pocket!

The nearly finished one-of-a-kind original ...

Physically getting the vest to Johnny--and, in fact, the Skate for Hope event as a whole--was an adventure all its own. Join us tomorrow for "Close to the Vest: Part 2" to get the rest of the story!

Please join Johnny for LIVE TWEETING
and the video of his closet on Bluefly.com's
"Closet Confessions" today! You can pre-tweet questions
to Johnny starting at 11 a.m. EDT; be sure to include
the hashtag #bfclosets in all your tweets.
Live tweeting runs from 12 noon to 1 p.m. EDT--don't miss it!

Coming soon: More Twitter madness!
Olympic Tweeters, we need you
as we launch our comprehensive campaign
to tweet Johnny onto DWTS!

PLEASE KEEP VOTING for Johnny as Skater of the Year
in USFSA's 2010 Readers' Choice poll
(voting ends July 15)!

Please also vote here to tell Pepsi
that you want them to donate $250,000 to Just Push 'nPlay!
Johnny is on the board of the 'nPlay Foundation,
and this funding would help to provide physical activity
programs to nearly 20,000 kids.
Let's help make this project the top vote-getter!
(voting ends Wednesday!)

Special thanks to Ninja Girl for her invaluable help
in writing most of this post!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


Heather said...

ITS GORGEOUS!! I want one!!

Anonymous said...


Beautiful gift....good for you. Hey, can you part with his measurements - just for fun? Like uh 40 x 30 x 38? What are they?

I am so excited for you!


Mimi said...

Amazing story! Amazing Artist!
OMG!!! Gorgeous work!!! Glorious!!!

nerds said...

@TK The measurements are a state secret and protected by the security services at the Weirlandia Homeland Security Agency.

Wendy S said...

MM, I can't wait for part 2! I love hearing these stories. And that vest is gorgeous! Johnny's got the best fans.

Maggie St. said...


That vest is simply fanTAStic!!!

Anonymous said...

yay! a secret story, love it!

and MM, i love that poem to death! especially right now . . .