Thursday, May 27, 2010

"Addictive" Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It ...

Hey there sugar baby
Saw you twice at the pop show
You taste just like glitter
Mixed with rock and roll
I like you a lot lot
Think you're really hot hot ...

(Boys Boys Boys by Lady Gaga)

So I'm sitting here purring and just feeling so empowered by this whole voting thing. A few simple taps on my keyboard, and my preference for Johnny Weir as NewNowNext's "Most Addictive Reality Star" is shot out into cyberspace, an uber-rocket of opinion, where it is tweeted and retweeted over and over and over--tweet-tweet-tweet-TWEET--like some insane chorus clearly made up of ominous and beady-eyed extras from Hitchcock's The Birds, only now they're all on crack and usually start up outside my window just as I'm trying to sleep for a few hours.

I'm also feeling uber-nerdy, because intensively studying how we're doing in voting #realityWEIR on Twitter has really brought out my inner statistics geek (isn't that sort of redundant, BTW, "statistics" and "geek"? And I am fully qualified to say that because I actually worked in the statistics department at the University of Wyoming as an undergraduate, so I know whereof I geek).

I've surrounded myself with columns of numbers and tables with sub-tables and colored pie charts and graphs showing trend lines, and all I can say is: These would look a lot cooler with glitter glue on them. And maybe some soft pink feathers. Also they need pictures of Johnny.

Actually, everything needs a picture of Johnny. Which explains my desktop background / screensaver / mousepad / calendar / coffee mug / Facebook page / giant poster above my desk / potholders / dining room chair cushions / couch throw / mural painted on our fence ... It is amazing what technology now allows us to do with photos. The whole world is my canvas, upon which I have happily placed the same picture over and over and over, like one of those optical mind-benders where some overall-clad woman is holding a photo of Johnny and herself, in which she's holding a photo of Johnny and herself, in which she's holding a photo of Johnny and herself ...

Anyway: I can say one other thing about my towering stacks of papers--each covering a different statistical breakdown of our voting trends--that threaten to qualify me for an upcoming episode of #indulgeHOARDERS:


Here are our latest totals:

Now [adjusts reading glasses]: Let's analyze this further! By
which I mean, "prepare to be completely numbed by confusing percentages!" Because otherwise this would just be math instead of statistics, which is math on steroids whose lameness factor has been increased by a percentage of 10 to the 10th simply by the fact that it is so completely unpronounceable and untype-able (stastistics? statsticksis? satistcis? statsicstics? And what about statististicstically? Let's not even go there. Although maybe just for a sec, so we can use this analogy: "Statistically" is to "Specifically" as "Viennese" is to "Vietnamese").

On to our percentages:
*Our voting in the last three days is up by 60%!
*Our average number of tweets per day also is up by 60%!
*We've added more than 10,000 votes to Johnny's total just since Monday!
*#realityWEIR has been among the top 50 most active hashtags on Twitter worldwide for the last seven days!

(OK, those last two aren't percentages, but I'm still geeking out about them.)

What does all this mean? Well, again, I must retreat to my Lutheran background and quietly and peacefully refuse to draw any conclusions no matter how compelling the specifstical evidence in front of me, although if pressed, I would have to go with: I think maybe we might be helping him win this thing.

And now more stepistics! Here are our Top Ten Tweeters for the last seven days as of 3:30 a.m.:

  1. @maxonat - 1,597
  2. @blackren101 - 1,564
  3. @realityWeir - 1,421
  4. @MaggieStNJ - 1,414
  5. @Cheddar_Cat - 1,260
  6. @KittenGlitterHD - 1,247
  7. @TheJerseySlore - 1,238
  8. @Moo58 - 1,227
  9. @JGW_fangirl - 904
10. @AddictedtoJWe - 672

So we are totally pwning this vote, and thank you to all who are tweeting like people starring in an episode of Obsessed, and please don't let up now! Once again, since we can't track the votes on the NewNowNext website--although please vote there anyway whenever you can--Twitter is our ultimate weapon to try to ensure first place for Johnny! You can check our progress anytime here.

I am thrilled to announce that we have a new voting ally on Twitter: Beauty Bear Eric Alt of Eric Alt Salons--our twitpic hero--has joined us in tweeting #realityWEIR! And we have a great way to thank him for his support: We can vote for Eric to win "Favorite Salon" in New Jersey Life Health and Beauty magazine's 2010 Beauty A List! You can vote as many times as you want through June 21! The winner will be announced in the September issue.

Finally, we have one other very important opportunity to support Johnny with our votes: The campaign for USFSA's Figure Skater of the Year. You can vote once per e-mail address; voting continues until July 15. This is a big one, so please vote if you haven't already done so, and encourage everyone in your e-mail address book to vote, too.

Well then. My head is swirling with numbers, my glitter glue is empty, and my green accountant's eyeshade is getting all fogged up. Time to end this geekfest for now and go back to tweeting #realityWEIR and #hotBETTYWHITE.

Because it makes me ridiculously happy to see those two in the same tweet.

as "Most Addictive Reality Star"
in the NewNowNext Awards!
Vote here
(he's the last one listed in the fifth category--scroll down!)
or on Twitter by constantly tweeting

and retweeting #realityWEIR.
Voting ends June 4, which gives us plenty of time
to get Johnny oh, say, 100,000 votes!
PLEASE also VOTE HERE for Johnny to win
the 2010 Readers' Choice Skater of the Year Award
(voting ends July 15)!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


WheresMyKoppy said...

I passed statistics in college. If I hadn't had to take that class I wouldn't know how to properly use my scientific calculator functions! LOL! We've managed to convert Eric to voting, we've talked him into bribing us with pictures, and JOhnny just may win this thing! But I want that Reader's Choice award for him also. I have to remember to get those ex-cheer parents on that! Great blog, as always!

BSonTwit said...

i have noticed our voting is up alot the last few days. Personally i think all these twitpics have excited us and we are tweeting more! and thanks 4 helping me yesterday on twitter with retweeting so now i can add #realityweir to my retweets too! But I have a question, we all write these tweets to johnny hoping he will read them, have u heard either thru johnny or Tara (i know u have some contact with her) or anyone if he actually does?

happy voting!

Maggie St. said...

Can't talk. Tweeting. I eated 1100 of #realityWEIR's cupcakes! ♥ ♥ YUM-O!! ♥ ♥ #hotBETTYWHITE made me do it!!

(Thank G-d for Copy & Paste!!)

auntyamyj said...

Hee Hee, you said "pwning"! My nieces and nephews would be so proud! Go Johnny!

Anonymous said...


This is pretty unbelievable! Silly me, I actually thought to myself - Oh no, what if the fanbase to the other celebs. got wind of what we are doing and they in turn out vote us?! Okay, not likely.

Love, love, love seeing Betty w/ Johnny :)


Maggie St. said...

Betty White? For Thursday May 27 (as of 11:20am, EDT):
495 tweets, 9 contributors, 70.7 tweets per day

I had stopped voting for her as I thought perhaps others might not want to re-tweet my votes for Johnny if other people were attached to the vote. But I have to agree, they make such a cute couple!

Just as long as we never see Viacheslav Romanov and Betty White together in a bathtub.

Jenn Kittler said...

Re: Johnny reading our tweets: I doubt he has time to do more than occasionally skim through his unsolicited tweets. I just put mine out there as part of a collective "you go gurl" should he ever need one.

I'd like to see Betty and Viacheslav in a bathtub. There'd have to be a lot more bubbles, though.

Lurve the picha with this post. Must go retweet now!

Anonymous said...

aw, that geek look is so cute on you! :-)

i got told i needed a Johnny Weir invention and i said NO WAY!!

he's so magically delicious that i wanna stay addicted.

Princess Johnny-Love