Thursday, April 15, 2010

And Now for Something Completely Different: Inside the Mind of a GlitterHead

I love this gif.

I didn't create it, but whoever did has my eternal admiration.

Here's the circuitously tortured path my mind followed in order for this gif to wind up on this page:

So the last two days were kind of ... wow. Only with a lot more words than that. And so I was a little wiped and my mind was wandering aimlessly, as it is apt to do--sunny, daydreamy child that it is, seeking butterflies and rainbows and in desperate need of a kind babysitter--to the point that sometimes it leaves me completely and I just stare into space like I'm having some kind of quiet atonic seizure until an actual child snaps me out of it by yelling, "Hey Mom, is it bad if the cat throw-up looks like pink Easter grass?"

But before the reality of really awesome cat vomit intruded, me and my child-mind were in the bejeweled meadow of random Johnny Weir thoughts, remembering this wonderful thread on his Facebook page a few weeks ago where fans were imagining what it would be like to get really organized in our devotion and start following him around the country, like how the Grateful Dead had the Deadheads, only we could be the GlitterHeads. And we would follow him not in ratty old VW buses but in fully appointed luxury RVs, complete with foot massagers and tricked out with glitter and pink tassels. And we'd get ready for every show by vacuuming and getting high on Lemon Pledge. And since we were dreaming big, it was suggested that we cover all the roads with ice so it would feel like we were traveling from show to show in giant black-and-glitter ice skates.

And we would pretty much do this until we're all really old.

And then the driving-around part made me remember this gif, which I had seen somewhere about a month ago. And the fact that it's Thursday and someday I'll be not just an old but a REALLY OLD GlitterHead/Weir'do made me think of this equally old joke (updated with GlitterHeads) that goes like this:

Shelley GlitterHead (age 105): Windy, isn't it?

Maggie GlitterHead (age 106): No, it's Thursday.

Amy J. GlitterHead (age 102): So am I. Let's all go have a Starbucks!

Which again brings me back to this gif, because Johnny has his ever-present Starbucks in his right hand (which, if you watch closely enough, he kind of swoops right through Evan's head. Just one more magical thing Johnny can do, although I'm thinking maybe that trick--making things go right through or sometimes completely over Evan's head--isn't that difficult. Certainly not for Johnny.)

So anyway. That's a peek into how one crazed GlitterHead's sparkly, blithe, restless child-mind--a mind so ridiculously free-associative that James Joyce might find himself stumbling along behind it muttering, "This stream-of-consciousness sh*t really is just gibberish, isn't it?"--works.

Although maybe "works" is too strong a word. Maybe "plays" is better. Or possibly "runs with scissors." Especially when I'm in full-on caffeine overload mode, which is pretty much my only setting.

And that reminds me: Hey, all you GlitterHeads! Wanna go get a Starbucks? Johnny's driving! (Evan, I'm calling shotgun this time ... )



Special thanks to the creator of this gif,
and to all the Johnny Weir Facebook fans
who contributed such fanTAStic ideas to the thread!

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved

7 comments:

auntyamyj said...

And make that a iced-venti-skim-vanilla-chai-w/three honey's-not stirred please! Oh, how I want to roam the land in a pink and black tricked out trailer. I'm gonna buy my dog a pink and black patent leather collar so she can sit up front with me! LOVE IT!

PumaJ said...

Oh, I am so definitely ready for a triple short latte, this morning ! :-)

Thanks for your humor. Gave good giggles as I wind myself up for another work day as the nurse in a public middle school :-)

Nico said...

This escapist GlitterHead daydream (and the adorably giddy .gif) will have me chuckling to myself in my business meetings ALL DAY today. If we do embrace this glam-gypsy lifestyle, please remember that I'm an excellent driver. Let's hit the road already!

germansoulmate said...

"(which, if you watch closely enough, he kind of swoops right through Evan's head. Just one more magical thing Johnny can do, although I'm thinking maybe that trick--making things go right through or sometimes completely over Evan's head--isn't that difficult. Certainly not for Johnny.)"


LOL`ing very loud.

Great blog as usual.

Anonymous said...

I have actualy seen two cars in the last week with jet black body and Fuchsia Pink detailing. And I do want to believe that they are Johnny fanatics!!

Wonderful blog!

THANK YOU

TK

billntracee said...

I wonder if Johnny knew what he was getting into with this whole fame thing. You figure, if we're still following him once we've hit the centennial mark, he's gonna be in his 80's or 90's. He's got along road ahead of him but I bet he'll have one decked out walker out there on that ice!

XO,
Tracee

adam-ross-lover said...

That gif is just sooooo amazing xD. Cracks me up completely.

I want my future car to be black with pink tassels hanged on the mirror, pink leather seats and rhinestones on the hubcaps. That would be pretty awesome.