Friday, March 19, 2010

Yes, It's Here: The All-New Johnny Weir Action Figure!


From Johnny Weir's Facebook page:

Cheryl Davidson LOL! For better or worse I am in full-on fangirl crush mode right now! And there's nothing I can do about it! I've got Johnny Weir fever AND I AM BURNING UP!

Cheryl Bateman I'm still sitting in my pajamas, reveling in all things Johnny. I still want an action figure.



Well, Cheryls, the wait is over! Here it is, what we all--pathetic, pajama-clad Internet stalkers that we are--have been waiting for: The cure for Johnny Fever! The Johnny crack that we hardcore addicts so desperately crave! Something to hold and touch after the footgasmic Be Good Johnny Weir Episode 107!

It's the Johnny Weir action figure!

Your scale-model Johnny is:

Authentically detailed! Yes, right down to his ...  um ... yay! Episode 107! 

Fully posable! (And by "fully" we mean "close your bedroom door, grab the included miniature Pilates machine, and let your imagination run wild...")

Completely dressed in his short program costume from the 2010 Olympics! Or not. (See above.)

Ready to talk to you! Pull the pink tassel on Johnny's left shoulder to hear these fan-favorite Weir-isms and sound effects:

      When I'm good, I'm good. But when I'm bad, I'm better.

      I walk on water. Well, frozen water.

      What an artist. At times it is like BALLET on ice.

      Don't you know that? Are you stupid?

      This is Viacheslav Romanov!

      To have this mammoth thing shoved in me...

      And I've mounted it.

      Ohhhhhhh daddy...

      *snuffle*snuffle*snuffle*
     
      The best thing you can ever be in this life is yourself.

Your Johnny action figure comes with these exciting accessories:
Also available: The optional accessory pak! Includes stilettos, black leggings, glittery headband, a single red glove, and an assortment of tiny skin-care products.

Quantities are unlimited--just like Johnny's artistry, outspokenness, grace, and sheer sex appeal.

Order yours today!

1-800-OMG-WE-LOVE-THIS-MAN!


Now THAT should totally motivate you
to sign the petition...!
We are almost at 9,800 signatures!
Our goal is to reach 10,000 ASAP!
Please sign now if you haven't already!


copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Binky, do you hear your phone ringing? That's me, calling to order my Action Figure of Beauty! Well, Beauty and Glitter! hahah! Love it!

Just finished downloading season one of Johnny's show onto my iPod. If there's one thing I could tell him right now, it'd be this:

"Johnny, you're right next to Lady GaGa on my iPod!" :-)

-Robin

OMG not a moment too soon! said...

This is F*in hilarious! I love all the embedded links. And what a relief to hear I'm not the only crazy person up at 3:00 AM jonesin' for some new Johnny "content." I'd like the action figure with the optional accessories... Ooooh the pilates machine! I'll have to watch that video clip of his plank again...

Maggie St. said...

And if I act now, you'll throw in??
*can of spray glitter
*headband of roses
*bouquets of flowers to throw at action figure
*tiny Russia pendant
*vibrating foot massager
*beautiful cod sandwich

I hope BGJW comes out on DVD. Anytime I'm feeling down, I just watch a few minutes on tape and soon I am smiling, laughing at Johnny's comments, and happy again!

Moe said...

Put me down for 2 w/ the optional accessory paks as well!

dudetteinbrownsweater said...

Packaged in a gold Faberge egg!

Troubleshooting menu: Please exercise caution with the Johnny Weir action figure if you have experienced or are currently experiencing heart difficulties.

-Jaspar

PS My dear Misfit Mimes, you have just officially won the Internets.

Misfit Mimes said...

OMG, you are all TOTALLY cracking me up! Jaspar, your warning label wording is BRILLIANT! And thank you all for the blog love :)

Maggie St. said...

You should see if Sundance will include this in a BGJW "Glitter Edition" DVD, along with all the usual Bonus features. :)

xnauthiz said...

Um hi, somebody linked to your blog as a true Johhny Weir love fest so of course I had to come and take a look :).

I just want to say that your posts are so very enjoyable and that all your musings on Johnny are worth reading (especially when you mention the strength of his mother, to be honest, I even got a bit teary-eyed *cough*).

Anyways, have fun at Ice Dreams and I suppose we can expect a long and detailed report of the happenings :)? (poor poor little Bensenville)

Daleth said...

Gimme gimme! I want an action figure NOW!!!