Thursday, March 11, 2010

Petition Update: Power to the People! MWAH!

So late Tuesday night I received the go-ahead from trusted sources to post a blog entry regarding whispers that all the corporate sponsors except one would be delighted to have Johnny Weir--God's gift to glitter, figure skating, and impossibly gorgeous glutes (yes, I have seen Episode 107)--join the Smucker's Stars on Ice tour.

Hence this petition:

We, the undersigned, call on Stars on Ice and its sponsors
to include figure skater Johnny Weir
on its tour of United States cities.

Yup, apparently just one big corporate sponsor* stands in the way of millions of Americans getting to see Johnny do his thing--including the deliciously rumored new Lady Gaga exhibition piece.

What's the problem? Well, this corporation has allegedly decided--for you, for me, and for all Americans--that Johnny is not "family-friendly." Because that's the America we live in today: Conservative corporate fat-cats get to decide what choices you can't have.

The petition had first appeared online Sunday, March 7. In three days, we had collected 1,606 signatures. (For more back story on the petition, please see this post and also this one.)

But now, armed with this new info, Johnny's thousands of fans mobilized immediately to say it with LOTS of signatures: "What the smuck! Who are you to decide what's friendly for our families?"

After it hit the blogs, Facebook, and Perez Hilton on Wednesday (thank you, Perez! And thank you to Johnny's Angel "Wisewitch" for alerting Perez to the big scoop), we doubled the number of signatures in less than twelve hours!

I just now wrote to them suggesting that
they change their slogan to
"With a name like Sm_____s, we have to be bigots."
Leslie Jones Falls on Facebook

And now, as of this writing, we have just gone over 3,700 signatures.

BUT WE NEED MORE! This tour is something that Johnny really wants, according to those close to him. And that means this is our chance, as his fans, to actually do something concrete to thank him for all the joy he's given us, and all the sacrifices he's made to do that.

How often does this happen, that you can do one simple thing to make a huge, positive difference in someone else's life? Carpe diem, people! (Rough translation: Seize this sponsor by the balls shoulders, push them under the white-hot glare of viral Internet exposure, and apply pressure firmly [now hand me that cattle prod, would you, dear?], until they GET IT.)

So at the risk of repeating myself, let me repeat myself:

Please sign this petition
to get Stars on Ice to include Johnny
on this year's tour.
And by "sign" I mean "now." RIGHT NOW.
We need THOUSANDS more signatures
by Monday morning, March 15!

Now get out there and tell those corporate cardboard cut-outs what we the people want: More Johnny Weir!

Because when it comes to Johnny, too much is never enough.

(Ohhhhhhhh daddy... )

*To respond to those who have asked: The sponsor shall remain nameless.
But this is certainly a clusterSMUCK of a mess, and bombarding those
motherSMUCKERS with e-mails and also promising to boycott their products
will send the right "SMUCK you" message. If you get my drift... :)

copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


Jezebel said...

Why is the sponsor supposed to remain "anonymous"? The most effective thing would be to call them out by name and start contacting them directly to demand an official statement and explanation in addition to signing the petition. Is it because this story hasn't been verified?

Misfit Mimes said...

No. The story is verified. But there's just so much more humor in referring to them in various ways...

Actually, this began back in 2008 when Johnny had just won a medal at Worlds. Stars on Ice posted a poll on their website: "Who would you most like to see on SOI?" Johnny won by an incredible landslide, the poll was promptly removed from the site, and when an explanation was demanded, the "not family friendly" comment was the response on the SOI message board.

Fast forward to 2010 and the incredible amount of fan support worldwide for Johnny Weir after the travesty of the Olympic judging. Suddenly all the other SOI sponsors are shifting their feet uncomfortably and muttering to each other, "Geez, that kid's a GOLD MINE waiting to happen to SOI...." (which has been hemorrhaging money in recent years). Their eyes dart nervously to the big(oted) kid--but he still just won't budge...

As is indicated on the petition site, the petition is directed specifically to one sponsor, and also to IMG Entertainment, because for some cozy reason, only those skaters represented by IMG get to be on SOI... (there's got to be a suggestive pun somewhere in all those initials, but I'm just too low on caffeine to find it right now).

Anonymous said...

"only those skaters represented by IMG get to be on SOI..."

No, skaters from other agencies have been invited to SOI too. They have invited Jeremy Abbott and Rachel Flatt (she declined because of school) to do some of the tour stops this year. Both of them are represented by the same agency as Johnny. That's why it's so weird that they refuse to invite Johnny when they have invited every other top American skater.

Misfit Mimes said...

You are correct, Anonymous--thanks for pointing that out. That should have read, "MOSTLY those skaters represented by IMG..." Am too caffeine-challenged to be posting right now, I think!