Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Binky Goes to Bensenville (Part 1)

The always and impossibly elegant Johnny Weir.

"Hmmmm..." I frowned at the array of clothes on the bed. What to wear? What to wear? What does one wear when one goes to Weir, as it were?

Suddenly I wanted to forget packing and go read Dr. Seuss books.

"Mom, what IS your problem?" my daughter demanded, striding briskly into my room. "All your clothes look alike. How hard can this be? Just pick something already!"

She had a point. My fashion choices are informed by three factors:
(1) When in doubt, spend the money on the kids; (2) comfort; and (3) rheumatoid arthritis, an unwelcome and surly guest who arrived five years ago and remains to this day, eating my favorite leftovers, hogging the remote, and leaving wet towels scattered all over the bathroom floor.

So, in fall and winter, I live in denim overalls; in spring and summer, denim shortalls. I have a weird thing where I don't like stuff that's tight against my waist. Actually, I have no waist, so waist-borne clothes just perch hesitantly on me somewhere above my worn hip joints, wondering where they're supposed to BE, exactly, and why it's so hard to meet nice people who are willing to make a commitment to having a waist these days.

I also have a thing where I don't like it when my neck is cold, or when Evan Lysacek unexpectedly appears in my field of vision. There I was last week, trying to tune into part 1 of the serial-killer episode of Castle because really, what better way to spend an hour when Johnny isn't available than with the charming Nathan Fillion, but GAAAAAACK! I accidentally arrived at the tail end of Flailing With the Mongeese to see the Orange-Glo-Rama himself, all decked out in the same damn tux he wears for everything. I quickly averted my eyes in order to preserve my retinas ("No, dear! Never look directly at it!") and waited for the Castle theme to begin.

Now my daughter could have solved my packing problem before I even realized there was a problem. She's quick that way, and by "quick" I mean "impatient with other people's fashion issues but for whom time stands still when we are already fifteen minutes late and she needs to choose between the black pencil skirt and the red pencil skirt"--both of which look fantastic on her tiny size-4 self, by the way.

Me, I'm a taller girl, as Johnny would say. I've always liked my height, and I do stand straight and tall, but there's a secret fear in the back of my mind that the word "burly" could someday be used in the same sentence as "Binky." My kids always crack up when I say this and assure me that that will never be true. But I'm not sure they even really know what I look like as a person--who picked up a pound or two along the way--and not as their beloved parent. Which actually is OK, because I still remember their little voices telling me I'm "the prettiest mom and the best mom in the whole world, the mom of wonders."

Anyway, so my fashion sense is somewhat limited, in the sense that I have no actual fashion sense, so I have this dilemma: I am really, really hoping to meet Johnny at the VIP party after Ice Dreams (and by "meet" I mean "stand awkwardly somewhere near him looking hopeful"). But I don't want to appear as if I just wandered in after having taken a seriously wrong turn somewhere on my way from a western Illinois cornfield. I'm afraid that Johnny, all slim elegance and Balenciaga and Galliano and lots of other fashion-y names I can't pronounce, could actually be allergic to something so plebeian as overalls, and then it would be my fault that his sinuses started draining and he developed that odd rash that prohibited him from getting to ride a yak in Mongolia after all. I don't want to be responsible for some sort of international incident just because I dress like Bill the Yeti.

So my daughter reinserted her iPod earbuds and left, and I sat on the bed and pondered the light blue overalls and the dark blue overalls and whether there's enough money in the plastic Coke bank to maybe buy an actual pair of, say, khaki pants.

On the other hand.

If Johnny stands for anything, it's this: Be yourself. And own that self. All the way. Be who you are, in whatever packaging works for you. It's one of the qualities--on a long list of really admirable character traits--that I most appreciate about him. Funny how a kid of 25 could make this middle-aged mom (middle-aged because I'm planning to live to age 96 so really, I'm only halfway done and don't rush me, please) suddenly rediscover the confidence she never had at 25.

And if anyone in the world were to host a party and say, "Come as you are!" and REALLY mean that, it would be Jesus. Or Johnny Weir.

So: Problem solved.

Look for me in Bensenville. I'll be the tall woman in the dark blue overalls she loves (the smallest ones I own, because I've lost all those pesky extra pounds recently by following a Johnny-inspired meal plan of not really planning to eat any meals) wearing a sparkly "We Love Johnny Weir!" button.

And a really big, confident smile.

Special thanks to Lizzy Pine, Johnny Weir Facebook fan,
for the mongoose repellent!
copyright 2010 / Binky and the Misfit Mimes / Lynn V. Ingogly / all rights reserved


Anonymous said...

Binky, I just gotta say, I love you! and if I was going to Bensenvile - which I'm not, *POUT* - I would stand proudly next to you in your overalls!

- Robin

Anonymous said...

p.s. the secret word that came up for me to submit my post was "diseco", which is rather close to disco . . . which makes me say, JUST DANCE!

- Robin

Anonymous said...

Oh Binky! I don't know why this post made me want to cry a little. You have a beautiful, warm heart and that is what counts for most. You didn't have to feel self-concious at all. This particular snippet from your blog: "My fashion choices are informed by three factors: (1) When in doubt, spend the money on the kids..." just showed me how big and loving your heart is. And from looking at a person physically, these traits do carry through -- the aura somehow picks up and radiates everything in that person's heart (I mean, look at Tyra Banks. She's beautiful but I canNOT stand to look at her because everything that flows from that woman's mouth is trash). From just reading your blog and your kind words on my wall, I already perceive you as very beautiful indeed. So just continue to shine on! Wear the confident smile with plenty of sass!

Orange-Glo-Rama, lol! I loved your picture of him morphing into the mongoose and back (though secretly, I think the mongoose is a heck of a lot cuter than he'll ever be -- I would pet it, but god forbid if I should pet Sir Lysacek).

And incidentally, Bill the Yeti is so CUTE, I clicked on the link and my heart melted down to my stomach. I want one. Or 5.

Have an AMAZING time at Bensenville, let us all know how it goes!

Anonymous said...

You crack me up with your way of words. Each time.

But I second the last comment. You seem to be a very warm-hearted person and as such you will be able to stand next to Johnny looking and smiling confident.

kimmichelle said...

You go girl!, just as you are!, I totally agree with you!, Johnny (and Jesus too for that matter) as I'm a christian too, would WANT you to "Come as you are", as your very own beautiful self!, overalls and all!. That said you are so VERY!! VERY! lucky that you can go!, I wish I could but I live in the south. Do you know if Johnny has any plans for a ice show,in the future anywhere near North Carolina?

Maggie said...

I WANT A BILL THE YETI!! He's adorable (and even if he came in orange!)

Dame Misfit, you speak for so many of us "middle aged" women (yes, I plan to live to be 104). I too have been debating on what to wear. Be myself or wear something fancy. Well, fancy for me.

I'm currently 75/25% towards just going with a tie-dye shirt, for everyone knows that's ME. Now, the only problem: Which of my dozen or so tie-dye T-shirts to wear??


P.S. - I just wish Bill came in tie-dye

Misfit Mimes said...

TY all for your kind comments--I really, really appreciate it when people take the time to comment here. Kim, I'm not sure where else Johnny is performing this year, but I will see if I can get more info while at Ice Dreams. Maggie, I LOVE tie-dye! That seems exactly right!

Anonymous said...

Binky - thanks for the great blog entry; it is great to hear someone who sounds like about my age is as enthralled with the young Mr. Weir as I am; my friends think I'm nuts! Did you see him in Oak Lawn last week? I'm planning on going to Bensenville but don't have my ticket yet. Have you been there before? Any suggestions on where to sit for a good view? Thanks again - Julie

Misfit Mimes said...

Hi Julie! Thank you for the blog love and for taking the time to comment, plus bonus points for good word usage with "enthralled," which covers it nicely. I have been to Bensenville before but not to the Edge Ice Arena. Both Elkin and the kind lady at the Edge say that since it's a smaller rink, there really aren't any bad seats, which is good to know! Hope you'll be there!

Lillian said...

Hey Miss Binky - Another great blog post! Thank You.

I guess I never realized that being a "Johnny Weir Fan" would bring people together on so many levels. I really enjoy reading your blog because you are a wonderful writer with a lot of wit. My life is very different than yours because I live in a large urban city and work in the fashion and entertainment industry....who would know that our paths would ever cross? (Even if just virtually.) Isn't it great that someone like Johnny can bring so many different kinds of people together? (Not to mention people from all over the world!)

The first rule of fashion....Own Your Look. Whatever you wear, as long as you "rock" it in your way...you will be gorgeous! Have a great time at the show.

Lerrin said...

Oh, heck- if I'm not sparkly/fashionable enough for someone else's shallow judgements (that is, as IF I really care):
I just tell them that I have to lay low due to my mandatory participation in the witness protection program.

laura linger said...

I love your beautiful post. I really, really do. And you and your overalls...STYLIN'. Balenciaga, Galliano, who cares? If the overalls are YOU, then that is all that matters. And believe me, had I been there, you would have thought that the national touring company of HAIR had come to town. Because that's MY style. I make no apologies for that.